If you are a human being – or a just monster – then you love Lady Gaga. I love her, and I know you do, too. If you don’t, you just haven’t been brought around yet, or you’re too ironic to admit that she is awesome. But she is, so just admit it already.

I wanted an iPod this past Christmas, but I didn’t get one. It’s a shame – my current one is old, has a broken screen and can’t fit much on it. I probably could have used the Christmas money I got instead toward a new iPod, but once money’s in my hand I’d rather just keep it. I’m sure Apple could sympathize with my reasoning.

Hello again, my friends.

“Two thousand ten” or “twenty ten?” Someone make a call on that one already, please. It’s the year Davis gives me the boot, so efemel. I made it through winter break without hitting a car or eloping with my cousin Ashley’s boyfriend. Oh karma, les jeux sont faits – your ass is mine. That was ’07 Michelle, and she’s very sorry about that.

The individual responsible for inflating UC Davis forcible sexual offense statistics may be facing criminal charges for funneling university money into her private bank account.

Q: What are the laws regarding inebriation in class? Does this still apply if I wasn’t drinking on campus?

Although Davis is reputable for its small town ambiance, the spirit and inspiration of its residents have greatly impacted the overall attitude and conventions of thinking in the art world. Robert Arneson was one of these individuals.

ART / GALLERY

Ah, the budget cuts. Where else can we put all the pain and misery other than channeling it through a little artwork?

Men’s and women’s swimming and diving

TODAY

At only 27 years old, graduate student Daniel Watts is running for the highest statewide office in an attempt to raise the issue UC students are most invested in: lowering or eliminating tuition costs for public education.