Fall is here, so, naturally, the earwigs of Davis are cruising for sex. Like horny college students, earwigs hook-up, break-up and even move in together.

Imagine it’s your 40th birthday. Give or take a few years, it’s around 2030 and you are, like it or not, a middle-aged person of the numerically official type. The specifics of your hypothetical future are irrelevant (except that you’re probably fat). The point is, you’ve lived about half the years of your life and you can safely say your youth, in all its flower frolicking glory, is well in the past, at least in the physical sense of the word.

Imagine this scenario: You’re hungry and you wish you had a burger, sandwich or a hot dog to eat. To spice up your story, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you’re dying of starvation and you’re a moron. Let me add that only a moron would be starving and unprepared in the middle of nowhere (like the moron from Into the Wild).

Watch your language!; A case of mistaken “identification”; Wrong form.

TODAY: East Quad Farmers Market; Camp Adventure Information Session; Flu Vaccination Clinic.