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Monday, September 27, 2021

Column: I have a life, I swear

This past week has been extremely busy for all of us, with the start of school and whatnot, figuring out the expectations of our classes, who we want to start or continue friendships with, how to adjust to new situations and most importantly: the new fall television lineup.

Let’s be real. I already don’t have enough time to eat a solid two meals a day, let alone get more than five hours of sleep a night. Yes, that’s my fault. But I’m going to blame it on the fact that I’ve watched The Mindy Project pilot six times as of last night. It’s not my fault that Mindy Kaling is a comedic genius.

Give me the return of Grey’s Anatomy and I’m pretty much a happy camper. Add in Gossip Girl and 90210 and I’m set for all of my “stupid shows that need to end but I have to watch them” fix. Drop Happy Endings, Community, Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23, Modern Family, New Girl, Suburgatory, HIMYM and SNL into the weekly schedule and I’m entertained enough not to make my own self laugh at my pitiful life.

Don’t think I’m crazy for the following question, but I just need MORE. Is it so much to ask for Gilmore Girls and Ugly Betty back? You know, the shows that provided everything you’d ever need in life? Instead I have to find fulfillment in the small amount of shows I watch. (Please pick up on my sarcasm. Please. Or else this will be a long year.)

Don’t worry, I watch “real” and “meaningful” shows too. Glee is life-changing. I hope you died a little inside when reading that. Because it’s a lie. That show went down the shitter last year. I just watch it for the hot men. Besides, Smash is seriously enough talent and drama to make up for all the disappointment Glee has brought upon my life.

If you’re interested in shows that are genuinely great, watch The New Normal or get access to someone’s HBO Go account and watch Girls and The Newsroom. The opening scene of The Newsroom went viral online months ago, with the main character explaining why America isn’t the greatest country in the world anymore. But if that wasn’t enough push for you to torrent the rest of the episode, my opinion should be the final reason to do so.

Besides, what the hell else do you have to be doing anyway? Homework? Midterms don’t start for another couple of weeks. Study on the toilet during commercials. Drop out of college for a quarter. The fall television schedule is too good to ignore.

Have any show suggestions for ELIZABETH ORPINA? Think she should watch The X Factor because she apparently looks exactly like Demi Lovato? Tell her why Parks & Rec redeemed itself after the first season at arts@theaggie.org.


  1. […] This article was originally posted in The California Aggie. Share this:EmailFacebookPrintStumbleUponTumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. Tags: 90210, Community, Don't Trust the B in Apt 23, Elizabeth Orpina, Fall shows, Gilmore Girls, Girls, Glee, Gossip Girl, Greys Anatomy, Happy Endings, HIMYM, Modern Family, New Girl, Smash, SNL, Suburgatory, television, The California Aggie, The Mindy Project, The New Normal, The Newstoom, tv, UC Davis, Ugly Betty […]


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