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Davis, California

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Humor: What Davis would look like if we took it and put it somewhere interesting


Could we survive?

There is an old saying that goes: If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, did it actually fall? Well try and apply that to Davis. If UC Davis existed anywhere other than Davis, would it still contain all the cute little quirks that make Davis, Davis? And to that I say, I don’t know. This might be kind of hard to conceptualize, but trust me, it doesn’t even actually matter because Davis will never exist anywhere interesting. In fact, maybe Davis doesn’t exist at all (but that’s a whole ‘nother article).

Anyway, I will entertain the idea that Davis could exist in a bustling metropolis or relaxed beach town without changing any other part of its charm. Some questions to ask might be Where would the cows go? Could we still get away with dressing out of the early 2000s? Will bike circles work? Will everything still be overcrowded? And to that I say, I don’t know.

What I do know is that Davis without Davis kind of seems like the quarter system without midterms every week, or professors who don’t miss six weeks of the quarter for assorted conferences. As much as we complain (or maybe it’s just me), Davis anywhere else would lack the pizzazz (for lack of a better word) that most schools probably don’t even want to have.

I’m sure some people would prefer to go somewhere that could actually fit all of its residents, but I’m not really sure why. I have made so many friends waiting in various lines, and I’m not upset that I can never park anywhere because, I mean, is that any different than any other bustling city filled with other things to do? The only difference is that at least here we’re not overwhelmed with options because we know the three things we can do downtown.

I think Davis anywhere other than Davis is a nice idea for all of us who wonder what it would have been like if we had just gotten into Cal or UCLA. But it is in this distaste for our school that the overwhelming lack of school spirit that everyone’s able to relate to and bond over exists. So I will counter my own article and say that the lack of interest surrounding the town of Davis is what makes for such a tight-knit and special community.

So instead of really wondering what Davis would look like if it were somewhere else, here are some other fun food-for-thought questions: What would Davis look like if it were in Davis but not part of the cute little corrupt California public school system? Or, if Davis were Davis but were actually in Central California and instead a state school known for its engineering and architecture programs (should I have gone to Cal Poly?). Anyway, don’t let these questions bog you down too much, but think of them as more guiding philosophical questions that might ruin your life.

Author’s note: I apologize for the negativity. I actually really like Davis.

Written by: Rosie Schwarz — rschwarz@ucdavis.edu

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)


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