It’s time to ditch the drama and choose the better love interests
By JHANA RHODES — jsrho@ucdavis.edu
Every other week, “Twilight” enthusiasts come out of the woodwork to discuss whether the franchise’s protagonist, Bella Swan, should have ended up with Edward Cullen, a 104-year-old high schooler with the personality of a brick, or Jacob Black, the portable heater with 30-inch locks. While the choice between a sparkly, self-loathing vampire and a werewolf with no respect for boundaries can hardly count as a “better choice,” this consistent and frankly comical debate represents a timeless romance trope: the love triangle. This trope, so often seen in young adult media, draws our attention to a bigger issue found in many romance films.
Why does the protagonist always go for the first choice when the second choice is almost always better? Don’t get me wrong, Jacob Black is the second-worst example of this phenomenon regarding “secondary” love interests. The first-worst example is, by far, Daniel Cleaver from the film “Bridget Jones’s Diary.” That being said, while there are certain exceptions to this phenomenon, pop culture narratives often set up a dynamic where a second lead character could be the more stable and beneficial partner, if only the protagonist (and the plot) weren’t so fixated on the often more unbelievably toxic and dramatic “first choice.” This tendency to prioritize initial and usually unhealthy attraction over genuine compatibility is already something I hear about from my friends’ bad dating choices, so I’d prefer if movies stopped romanticizing it.
Take the classic 2004 film, “The Notebook,” for example. Ryan Gosling’s character, Noah, and Rachel McAdams’ character, Allie, are the embodiment of a toxic relationship. Throughout the film, Noah acts obsessively with Allie, often making unwanted gestures — such as dangling off of a Ferris wheel — until Allie agrees to date him. When Allie was with him, she was constantly stressed, crying in every other frame. My jaw dropped when I found out (spoilers) that she didn’t end up with James Marsden’s character, Lon Hammond Jr. — Allie’s (ex) fiancé and a handsome lawyer who is the opposite of Noah. However, for some odd reason, Allie leaves a life of happiness and stability to return to a summer fling.
More often than not, the “second choice,” initially made to be either an obstacle, plot progress or fallback, embodies traits that any reasonable human being would consider desirable in a partner. The second choice is often kind, patient and compassionate, someone who the protagonist feels safe confiding in and offers unwavering support without toxicity or dramatics. This starkly contrasts with the first choice, where (depending on the trope) they are outright rude, condescending, impulsive and possessive (yes, I am talking about Damon Salvatore).
Honestly, the protagonist’s total lack of regard for their own red flags baffles me. While dating the “bad boy” may seem exciting, the continuous prioritization of toxic relationships over healthy ones in the media teaches us to view toxicity as fun and stability as boring.
However, the second lead is sadly second for a reason. That is primarily because — to put it simply — we all love a little drama. Stories thrive on conflict and tumultuous character dynamics; the first love interest often provides the necessary fuel to create a good story. No matter how much we (and the protagonist) know that the second choice is better, the drama is much more enticing.
The bitterness I still harbor over Carrie choosing Big in “Sex and the City” and my undying adoration for Duckie Dale from “Pretty in Pink” highlights my dissatisfaction with love triangles. While individual viewers may have their favorite love interest, consistently prioritizing an often toxic “first choice” can reinforce unhealthy romantic relationships within our modern culture.
Written by: Jhana Rhodes— jsrho@ucdavis.edu
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