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Davis

Davis, California

Monday, September 25, 2023

Humor

ASUCD Senate to vote on allowing hunting permits for freshman

Not, like, for freshmen. Hunting for freshmen. Yeah.   BY ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    It’s Thursday again, and in the Mee Room gathered around the conference table,...

Picnic Day Schedule 2023

I am not open to suggestions   BY ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu   9:00 am - Read the group chat full of “Are you ready to partyyyyy!!!???!!??”  and...

Ali Baba releases new hangover-curing breakfast burrito

I can feel my mom’s disappointment fade away with every bite!   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   You may have experienced a pounding headache, a dry throat...

Advertisement: Looking for a roommate for next year

My emotional support rat must have his own room   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Hello, my name is Juke Jakeson. I am in dire need of...

I thought quicksand would be a bigger deal

Looney Tunes failed me   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   As a kid, I was always wary of wet sand because I was convinced it would be...

How to watch sports as a person who hates sports

Picking the team with the prettiest colors ain’t gonna cut it   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   We may have thought we were free from the clutches...

What the type of TA you have a crush on says about you

If you’re my linguistics TA, stop reading   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Some of us have fidget toys to pass the time in class. Others online...

Brought to you by students against eScooters

  Drawn by: Sandhya Pfile –– sbpfile@ucdavis.edu

My official ranking of UCD majors but only the ones I remember and some that I just made up

Good morning design majors! I hope all your dreams come true <3   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    Like winter quarter, this list goes from okay to...

I made ChatGPT write a humor article

Help, I’m being replaced   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    This article was written by ChatGPT, with comments from the author in brackets.   UC Davis is a well-known...

Seven popular New Year’s resolutions you’ve definitely already ditched

Good luck canceling your gym membership   By ANGIE VELARDE — avelarde@ucdavis.edu   New Year’s resolutions — most of us make them; nobody you know has actually kept...

Tips and tricks to get everyone to like you in winter quarter

The difference between a gift and bribery is how good you are at winking   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    Strangers: Ah! Strangers, the perfect blank slate....

The definitive beer pong rules of Kappa Phi Sigma Beta Gamma Phi

No cups, the pledges just hold the beer in their cupped hands   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu   Kappa Phi Sigma Beta Gamma Phi is UC Davis’s...

Twitter now run by single employee in Wisconsin basement

Meet Jeff, Twitter’s newest (and only) employee   By ANGIE VELARDE — avelarde@ucdavis.edu   After a series of unprecedented layoffs, resignations and terminations, Elon Musk’s latest purchase is...

First instance of ‘backward walking gene’ found in child of two former UC Davis tour guides

But she can’t walk forwards, which is a bit sad, actually   By ELLIE SCHULTZ —  eeschultz@ucdavis.edu   Last week, UC Davis alumni Johannes and Clarissa Tompkins brought...