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Davis

Davis, California

Saturday, December 3, 2022

Humor

Humor: “Alternative facts are still facts!” says flying man made of Chicken McNuggets, giggles and wishes

Tim Allen chimed in: “I am Jesus of Nazareth.” Senior Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway was asked Sunday about Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s decision to make...

Humor: Terrorizing turkeys found to be in cahoots with Davis squirrels

Poultry and rodents form an unlikely partnership to get snacks and entertainment We all know that turkeys are currently gobbling up the previously comforting and...

Humor: Winter storm manifestation of student body’s sadness

Students react to recent revelations that their mood has a dramatic impact on the weather It’s agreed upon by most students at UC Davis that...

Humor: Increase in fake news leads The Aggie to shut down humor desk

No remorse shown for quarterly hires as five students get the ax After a year of writing satirical news about the UC Davis campus, the...

Humor: Professors still without answers in understanding projector technology

Aggies advised to pray their next in-class video doesn’t also require sound UC Davis has long been considered a magnet for some of the greatest...

Humor: Extra week of winter break gives students additional time to do absolutely nothing

How three UC Davis students productively wasted their winter break UC students were treated to an extra week of winter break this school year. The...

Humor: UC Davis horror story — student forgets to Snapchat hammock experience

The terrible tale of Katie Custodio and the hammock quad It was a beautiful Davis day on January 11th. Second-year student Katie Custodio was released...

Humor: Student waiting for Safe Ride pickup reduced to ash by sands of time

The cosmic march of time has claimed a UC Davis student The UC Davis Safe Ride program has been growing in popularity as a secure...

HUMOR: UC Davis to burn all books in attempt to be more green

Former number-one cool school looking to reclaim its title As UC Davis looks to remodel its main library, the first thing to be nixed is...

HUMOR: The finsta must die

Delete your account I was on a date some years ago, and, while scrolling through my photo library to show her something on my phone,...

Humor: Student not offered any flyers at MU tables because he was ‘too ugly’

Tabling students provide insight into how they decide to whom they offer material An ugly incident occurred this past week on our campus. A student...

HUMOR: Undeclared senior decides that he, too, can someday be president

Ronald Dump makes his case: ‘Why not me?’ Ronald Dump woke up on Saturday with a goal in mind. The 22-year-old decided that he wanted...

Humor: Nothing Beats A Good Venmo Stalk

You can find out a lot about a person by looking at their purchase emojis Social media stalking isn’t creepy. Claiming to be above social...

HUMOR: School to build one big, really tall building to save space for farmland

New building plan seems to prioritize corn over education The land surrounding UC Davis is precious because of the school’s reputation as a top farming...

Humor: Dog wonders why owner won’t stop yelling

A dog and his peers recount stories of a mysterious man yelling The California Aggie recently spoke to a local dog who can’t understand why...