Humor: Letter: Lockdown proves we can live without the arts. Time to defund them for good
Permalink

Humor: Letter: Lockdown proves we can live without the arts. Time to defund them for good

It’s nothing personal For over 40 years, I’ve lived happily just off Main Street in an affable, amiable, agreeable little town where the Bible Belt meets the Rust…

Continue Reading →

Humor: Local man has trouble being outside again
Permalink

Humor: Local man has trouble being outside again

News from the future  “Apple, ” says Alan Chen, gesturing with his finger. “Apple,” agrees Terry Fulton, who points to the card between them. “Good.” I am sitting…

Continue Reading →

Humor: World’s Pessimists feud over whether coronavirus pandemic is good or bad
Permalink

Humor: World’s Pessimists feud over whether coronavirus pandemic is good or bad

The worst is yet to come! Hi, I’m The Aggie’s new correspondent Corey Spondendt, and I’m temporarily filling in for our top reporter R.E. Porter, who claims to…

Continue Reading →

Humor: Trump: “How Vietnam and syphilis prepared me for coronavirus”
Permalink

Humor: Trump: “How Vietnam and syphilis prepared me for coronavirus”

Testimony of a testy man being put to the test on testing Fresh out of the fiery, flaming, burning, blazing pizza oven that is the White House’s daily…

Continue Reading →

Humor: Despite pandemic and ban on sporting events, healthcare industry to continue screwing people over for sport
Permalink

Humor: Despite pandemic and ban on sporting events, healthcare industry to continue screwing people over for sport

Giving sports fans life by denying it to others  In an unprecedented several weeks, the coronavirus pandemic has wiped the sports calendar clean. No MLB, no NBA, no…

Continue Reading →

Humor: Massive military budget and public health cuts to come good in fight against COVID-19
Permalink

Humor: Massive military budget and public health cuts to come good in fight against COVID-19

Nation relieved Once upon a time in the United States, the National Security Council had a directorate for global health security and bio-defense, but this office was eliminated…

Continue Reading →

Humor: U-Haul Self-Storage offers students free deal to self-store themselves in quarantine
Permalink

Humor: U-Haul Self-Storage offers students free deal to self-store themselves in quarantine

“It’s kinda dark in here” As many universities across the country force students to move out of their on-campus housing, an unlikely hero of the coronavirus pandemic has…

Continue Reading →

Humor: Hip Zoomer protesting big corporations while vaping: “Juul is a small corporation”
Permalink

Humor: Hip Zoomer protesting big corporations while vaping: “Juul is a small corporation”

Irony deficiency threatens youth health At the local headquarters of Big Corporation, hundreds of students gathered yesterday to protest against what we at the News Paper Times described…

Continue Reading →

Cartoon: Apartment Hunting
Permalink
Sponsored content: definitely not a Bloomberg ad
Permalink

Sponsored content: definitely not a Bloomberg ad

Clorox: when dirty politics need cleaning 6:00 a.m. Monday morning. The temporary, futile, nugatory joys of the weekend now seem like a long-lost dream, much like the one…

Continue Reading →

#news
Permalink

#news

It’s what’s happening It’s here: Your first self-reported #news article, 100% free of journalistic bias. When we make promises, We Deliver, just like the US Postal Service. So…

Continue Reading →

Cartoon: Goodbye, Freeborn
Permalink

Cartoon: Goodbye, Freeborn

Humor: The top 10 reasons you should take a moral stand against the impure, imperfect Democrats by not voting at all
Permalink

Humor: The top 10 reasons you should take a moral stand against the impure, imperfect Democrats by not voting at all

And why you should feel absolutely great about yourself for doing so, even if you help re-elect Trump in the process Here are the reasons: 1. 2. 3.…

Continue Reading →

Cartoon: Vote
Permalink

Cartoon: Vote

Humor: Newspaper to fire all staff, only publish random tweets ending in “#news”
Permalink

Humor: Newspaper to fire all staff, only publish random tweets ending in “#news”

A modern, forward-looking, social media-based approach to news-making In October 2018, we here at The Aggie instituted The Policy — a bold new journalistic ethics practice — aimed…

Continue Reading →