Remember Sadness from “Inside Out”?
By MAYA KORNYEYEVA — mkornyeyeva@ucdavis.edu
Negativity — the expression of criticism or pessimism toward ourselves or others — is a train of thought that is often brought on by unwanted change, unfavorable circumstances or mistakes. Often, our mindset shifts negatively whenever we feel like we messed up; maybe we weren’t a good friend, we failed an exam or we forgot something important.
However, “the negative” is a dimension that is not so easily overcome. Negative thoughts and emotions tend to strike us frequently and with reckless abandon, and, in each of our lives, we will inevitably come face-to-face with negative experiences that push us into the darkest corners of our minds. Because of its frequency, it is crucial that we become well-versed in techniques for dealing with negativity in a healthy way and train ourselves to direct our thoughts to be both positive and productive.
While I am no licensed expert, I (like I’m sure, many of you) have dealt with my fair share of negative emotions. From epicly disastrous failures to days on end dragging myself through life, it’s definitely taken me a while to learn my thought process inside and out — to observe how I deal with negative thoughts and slowly direct myself to be less destructive.
This is a crucial step in learning to objectively regard your feelings; to understand that being in a negative mindspace can make us less receptive to help, more cynical and dismissive of our support systems. For all these reasons (and many more), I hope this mini crash course on dealing with negativity will prove thought-provoking, if not directly helpful.
To start off, it is important to differentiate between different forms of negativity and determine whether the sadness, distress or despair you are feeling is productive or unproductive. Productive negativity is characterized by a form of negativity that is, for lack of a better word, “character building.” In a productive negative state, you understand that you need this moment to grow — to make positive changes in your life and to become a better person as the result of carefully working through your negative emotions.
On the other hand, unproductive negativity is the very opposite; Rather than understanding that these emotions can be channelled into positive change, you dwell on things you cannot control, falling deeper into a spiral of unnecessary pain. In my case, unproductive negativity often arises from either a place of blame or comparison. Whether it’s blaming myself for not doing something I should have done or meticulously dwelling on the differences between myself and others, unproductive negativity doesn’t result in any healthy thought processes — let alone positive action.
The next step, after reflecting on the source of your negative emotions, is to channel that negativity into positivity. While this is easier said than done, it is extremely effective (at least for me) in raising all the gloomy energy off my shoulders.
Channelling your negativity can be achieved in many creative and introspective ways, and, before anything else, you should take a moment to pause and breathe in order to regulate your heart rate and calm your mind. Then, once you have collected your thoughts, you can direct them towards setting goals for yourself — making decisions on how to move forward with everything you learned while you were feeling blue.
As an example of this methodology in action, let’s imagine that you are experiencing some miserable self-criticism because you failed your economics midterm. After wallowing for an hour or so, you have the energy to think about what went wrong — did I not study enough? Is there something that I can fix going forward, like studying more in advance, going to office hours or consulting a friend? In this way, generating potential solutions is vital to moving past any negative emotions and bringing yourself out of the self-depreciating hole you may have been digging.
After deciding on an actionable item (for instance, “In the future I will take more thorough notes during lectures”), don’t forget to remind yourself that you are ultimately in control of who you are and who you want to be, and that (no matter what), you should always be there for yourself. It all comes down to continuously supporting your body and mind and, most importantly, being gentle on yourself.
In the end, my advice is almost exactly like the message of the Pixar movie “Inside Out”: Negative emotions are an undeniable part of our everyday lives, and, rather than avoiding these feelings and experiencing guilt for having these emotions, we need to remember that all our emotions are valid — even sadness (not just joy) can help us learn about ourselves and grow as individuals.
Written by: Maya Kornyeyeva — mkornyeyeva@ucdavis.edu
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