Course recommendations for summer sessions

No, they don’t have the major class you need. Have you considered “Zombies Civil Rights”?

A Spring Quarter slowly draws to a close, you might be thinking that your last day of Zoom lectures is near. Do not despair, however, for there remains another chance to pretend your microphone has stopped working: summer sessions.

Lucky for you, we’ve sifted through the myriad of courses offered and we’ll now present you with a roundup of the best classes to take while daydreaming about the simplicity of 2012’s impending Armageddon.

Summer Session I:

Cinema & Digital Media 002 – How to Cope With the Death of Your Favorite Character 

Political Science 103 – Cyberbullying Ted Cruz

Course Credit Limitation: Only two units of credit for those students who have completed Cyberbullying Lindsay Graham.

Religious Studies 048 – The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Communications 162 – How to Avoid Talking to Your Homophobic Aunt 

Description: Standard diversion tactics, faking static on the telephone and miming an unspecified emergency that requires your immediate attention.

Sociology 120 – Avoiding Social Pressure to Watch Anime 

Description: Not watching “Attack on Titan” is your constitutional right. May be taught abroad.

Chemistry/Psychology 008 – Mandatory Therapy for Students Taking Organic Chemistry

Linguistics 019 – Elementary Klingon 

Description: The class that says, “My parents are working hard to pay for my education and I do not care.”

Summer Session II: 

Films Studies 045 – Twilight 

Workload Units: Eight.

English 177 – Study of an Individual Author: Your TA’s Edgy Poetry

Education 103 – Perfecting the “I Don’t Know, Can You?”

Nutrition 100 – Cooking the Appropriate Amount of Spaghetti

Description: Those weird portion gadgets are for the weak.

Political Science 118 – Is Humanity Doomed? Yes.

Course Materials: TikTok, that movie they made out of a Wattpad story, the U.S. Constitution.

Philosophy 035 – Veganism is Immoral, Embrace Cannibalism

Geology 130 – Licking Rocks

Description: The Rolling Stones, crystal meth and Pop Rocks not included.

Communications 180 – Are You Mad at Me?

Viticulture & Enology 070 – Explaining Your Major to Other People

Spanish 025 – Just the Curse Words

Written by: Annabel Marshall — almarshall@ucdavis.edu 

Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)