This season’s queens will be earning their Ph.D.s in Public Servevice at the Motherversity of Yassssifornia, Slayvis
By GEETIKA MAHAJAN — giamahajan@ucdavis.edu
After successful runs in Canada, Mexico and the UK, the RuPaul’s Drag Race (RPDR) franchise has decided on its newest expansion venture: “Drag Race” is coming to Davis.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “There’s no way an Emmy-award-winning franchise that’s worth millions of dollars would come here, there has to be some kind of mistake” — you’re actually right! Rupaul wasn’t wearing his glasses and misread “Davis” as “Divas.” By the time anyone realized the error, it was too late. Preparations had already been made for the season 17 queens to lip-sync for the crown in the Mondavi Center for the Arts.
“I would call it more of a happy accident than a mistake, though,” a producer said. Viewership for the original show has been in decline, and the resulting budget cuts have been nothing short of excruciating for the main cast.
“They took away the Botox budget,” Ru hyperventilated in an exclusive interview with The California Aggie. When asked to elaborate, he just kept gasping and saying “Botox budget — Botox budget — Botox budget —” over and over again.
He seemed quite distressed, though nobody could really tell for sure because all the muscles in his face are permanently frozen. Luckily, Ru won’t have to suffer like this for long. The show is reportedly saving up to 45 million dollars by simply not filming in Los Angeles, where all reality shows must provide on-call eyebrow detail for their staff and pay an elusive “Erewhon tax.”
Despite initially being a mistake, the cast and crew of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” are excited to broaden their audience and introduce the show to students at UC Davis.
“Our success lies not in an audience base that is intimately familiar with the art of drag, but one that can incite and participate in needless drama and tweet things like ‘omg who let her serve bob,’” RuPaul said. “I think that the population at Davis is perfect for that.”
Perfect or not, Ru reportedly stated off the record that he “will not be staying in a town that smells like cow****.” The upcoming season will be hosted by Gary May in a blonde wig.
When asked if they were worried about adapting the show for a setting so removed from Los Angeles, both cast and crew waved away any concerns.
“If we survived Shangela coming back three times, we can get through anything,” Rupaul said.
Written by: Gettika Mahajan — giamahajan@ucdavis.edu
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
