Let's talk about sex!

Why conversations about sex are important

In an increasingly tumultuous era of politics, I’ve noticed a concerning rise in the normalisation of purity culture. This movement grew popular in American evangelical groups during the acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDs) crisis of the 1980s, and emphasized teaching abstinence for the sole purpose of preserving one’s virginity until marriage. As the world moved into the 21st century, purity culture became widely regarded as a regressive and anti-intellectual practice that reinforces misogyny and compulsory heteronormativity.

I consider myself lucky that my sexual education never included abstinence — my parents and educators were incredibly open when talking about sexual health in a scientifically objective way. But growing up, I felt as though I lived in two worlds; I was raised in a conservative country while I attended a relatively progressive international school. The people who comprised my social circle were diverse, ranging from the rapscallion friends I partied with to pious devotees. Consequently, I became accustomed to hearing girls loudly proclaim they would “never have sex before marriage,” as they associated virginity with moral righteousness.

My internalized ideas of sex as a natural function provided a strong foundation that repelled the noise of purity culture that surrounded me. As a result, I felt relatively neutral toward sex. I never shied away from conversations about it, but viewed it as something that simply existed. I was under the impression that by the 21st century, humanity should’ve reached a point where we could all exist in our own ways — it wasn’t until 2022 that I realized not everybody felt the same.

I was 18 when the Supreme Court of the United States ruled to overturn Roe v. Wade — the 1973 landmark court case that codified access to abortion before fetal viability as a federal right. I felt the impact from halfway across the world, as my social media feeds flooded with discourse over the groundbreaking decision. Over time, I noticed a theme — conservatives defending the decision often hid behind the horribly outdated idea that people who had the capacity to get pregnant should just “keep their legs closed.”

As more videos came across my feed, my frustration grew. Aside from the blatant misinformation, the notion of accidental pregnancy being a natural punishment for simply having sex angered me. The use of purity culture language to justify this gross revocation of bodily autonomy seemed like a regression to a time when sex was considered “dirty” and “sinful.”

Over the course of the 2020s, billionaire-backed conservative pundits like Matt Walsh and Ben Shapiro set out to make purity culture mainstream by pushing abstinence-only sexual education whilst demonizing conversations about gender and sexuality as “grooming” children for a supposed LGBTQ+ agenda. For a group that claims to “care about children,” conservative misrepresentation and elimination of comprehensive sexual education seems entirely counterintuitive. By censoring speech around age-appropriate conversations about sex, they rob young people of the ability to make informed choices about their bodies.

Federally-funded abstinence programs have been caught spreading blatant misinformation regarding the effectiveness of condoms in preventing STDs and pregnancy. Teens who received abstinence-only sexual education were more likely to believe that condoms did not prevent the spread of STIs, according to a 2007 study. Abstinence-only programs that refuse to teach even basic information about contraceptives put teenage girls at significantly higher risk of becoming pregnant. Girls aged 15-19 who didn’t use contraception at first sex are twice as likely to become teen mothers than girls who did use contraception. Countless studies have proven that teaching abstinence harms children in the long-term — a lack of sexual education deprives young people of the ability to thoughtfully plan their families and protect themselves against STDs, even after marriage.

In a desperate attempt to push Christian Evangelicalism into mainstream American culture, conservatives have demonized sex — much to the detriment of future generations. Countless studies have demonstrated how age-appropriate conversations about sex, anatomy and boundaries prevent child sexual abuse. It’s estimated that almost one in three teenagers will be victims of verbal, physical or sexual abuse. By raising awareness of acceptable behavior and safe sex practices, parents and educators can help prevent adolescents from falling victim to sexual abuse and teen pregnancy.

In a culture marked by a rise in anti-intellectualism, we are constantly bombarded by commentary that lacks nuance and dismisses difficult conversations about sex as inherently dirty. It’s likely that there are times when you or someone you know has even slipped into using purity-culture rhetoric. Our society’s convoluted ideas around sex are a direct result of the distorted ideas we inherit from our parental figures or see in the media. Ultimately, it’s our responsibility to unlearn shame and inform ourselves; after all, there’s only good to be gained from talking about sex.

Written by: Anjali Iyer — amiyer@ucdavis.edu

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