Dear Aggie,

 I ghosted her

By SAGE KAMOCSAY — skamocsay@ucdavis.edu 

Dear Aggie, 

I ghosted the girl I was talking to, and I feel really bad about it. We texted and Facetimed for a few weeks and had a few good dates, but I stood her up when we were supposed to go get dinner the other day. I don't know exactly why I did it, I just had this sinking feeling of dread in my gut and I couldn't get myself to go, or to respond to her texts or to answer her calls. It's been over three days now, and I feel like it's been too long for me to apologize. I liked her, but I just can't see myself going back and taking things further. I guess I'm scared, I don't know. Something just came over me. How do I handle this?

— Remorseful lovergirl

Dear Remorseful lovergirl,

You should definitely apologize to her. Send her a text saying you’re sorry you stood her up and ask for forgiveness, not another chance (though it seems like you wouldn’t want that anyway). Go in with the expectation that you will probably get an angry text or two back, but don’t get defensive. She probably does not want to hear your side of the story and why you felt the need to ghost her, so don’t offer that information unless she specifically asks why you did it. Respect and validate her emotions. Importantly, any amount of time is not too long to apologize. She will probably appreciate the closure your apology will give her eventually, even if she feels hurt right now.

Best of luck,

Concerned onlooker

Written by: Sage Kamocsay — skamocsay@ucdavis.edu

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