Controversial Davis rock band inspires both adoration and criticism

The Antarctic Monkeys sat down with The California Aggie for an exclusive interview

Our community has its fair share of local bands, including those that perform at the world famous Couch Concert, which set a new record this past quarter with one billion attendees. However, a new group has begun to stand out from the rest, amassing a dedicated following that stretches from the rolling hills of Ali Baba to the serene pastures of the Memorial Union Quad: The Antarctic Monkeys.

“I actually came up with the name first,” drummer Lance Cymbalton said. “Alex Turner’s cousin and I went to preschool together and he stole it. I still haven’t forgiven them.”

Cymbalton, a thirteenth-year senior, joined the Aggie with his bandmates for an interview. He was very passionate when describing the band’s founding, solemnly tearing up as he spoke.

“The three of us met a year ago. We were all at Taco Bell at 3 a.m. in the morning and had the exact same order,” Cymbalton said. “When we all reached for the first Crunchwrap Supreme at the same time, I knew we were bound to be musical soulmates.”

Lead guitarist and singer Maximum “Max” Tracks concurred.

“Being part of this group is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Well, other than when I met Ozzy Osbourne in a dream,” Tracks said. “That was awesome.”

Bassist Largemouth Fishman explained the group's sound.
“Basically, we’re the pinnacle of hard rock,” Fishman said. “Like, so hard. Really hard. But we have a sensitive side too. I’ve cried at the end of every ‘Fast & Furious’ movie.”

The fourth member, keyboardist Rock Grunt, joined a month after the rest of the group, as Fishman noted.
“None of our songs even have any keyboard parts,” Fishman said. “We sort of just let him in because his name is Rock. If we didn’t have someone named Rock in the band, how would anyone know what type of music we play? So, during shows, he just stands on the side and shotguns a beer every so often. But the band would be nothing without him.”

Grunt was not present at the interview. When askekd for comment, he responded with a GIF of a gorilla punching another gorilla in the face, greatly frightening our staff.

The Antarctic Monkeys have now recorded dozens of songs, culminating in their first studio album, “Greatness.”
“Well, we wanted the title to be a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy,” Tracks said. “If that’s what the album is called, how can it be mid? In my opinion, it can’t.”

Since the album’s release, UC Davis has seen an unprecedented number of students dropping out to become full-time fans of the band, leading to concern from the university administration. Meanwhile, the band’s cultish legion of supporters appear to have no regrets.

“One day, I was just having the worst time in my chemistry lab, but then I heard this surreal noise outside,” Kathy Riffster, a former pre-med student, said. “The band had staged an impromptu show outside of Mrak. I instantly knew that this would be a far better use of my time.”
Everett Reader, a third-year performative studies major, is one of the band’s biggest supporters.
“Everyone in the band is a genius,” Reader said. “Most people just focus on the guitar solos, but the lyrics actually reveal a profound commentary on the political and economic state of the world today.”

“I have no idea what he’s talking about,” Tracks said, upon hearing Reader’s proclamations.

Despite the band’s growing popularity, they have remained a controversial fixture in the local scene. This year, they were barred from competing in Battle of the Bands, as a KDVS 90.3FM representative explained.
“Yeah, in their application they demanded we replace all our weekend programming with their 12-hour cover of ‘Stairway to Heaven,’” the representative said. “So, that was kind of a dealbreaker.”

Members of UC Davis faculty, such as Music Professor Circle O’Fifths, also shared their opinions on the group.
“The Antarctic Monkeys are a wonderful example of music for my classes,” O’Fifths said. “Not because they’re good, but because they are so horrible. I play their songs as an example of what not to do, so that hopefully no such music will ever curse this world again.”

Despite their critics, the band has big plans going forward, as Tracks pointed out.
“We’re currently fundraising for a really big cause: ever since we got together, it’s been a dream to own a customized Antarctic Monkeys bong,” Tracks said. “It will be so, so dope, and there will be like dragons with lasers shooting out of their eyes and stuff. Oh, you mean about the music? Yeah, no, um, I think we’ve already done all there is to do. Not to brag or anything, but we kind of single-handedly saved rock. Other than a customized bong, where do you go from there?”

Written by: Jonah Berman — arts@theaggie.org