FAFSA shuts down, UC Davis provides Chipotle gift cards as replacement

Students are already fighting over the emergency, burrito-based relief

By RACHEL TRAN and VINCE BASADA— campus@theaggie.org

After the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) shut down abruptly late last month, universities across the country are now working to help students who previously relied on federal assistance. At UC Davis, school administrators have introduced a new, innovative program to provide students Chipotle gift cards as a replacement for federal aid.

The FAFSA was shut down nationwide after a meteor crashed into the United States Department of Education building on March 23, destroying the artificial intelligence (AI) motherboard responsible for determining who in the U.S. has the right to be able to afford college. Schools nationwide have implemented measures like housing vouchers and mass carpooling initiatives, but UC Davis is the only institution providing gift cards for fast-casual Mexican restaurants.

“We want students to be able to still attend school, despite everything going on,” Chancellor Gary May told The California Aggie over dinner. “Our school wants to help our students by making sure they know they will have access to fresh, somewhat overpriced ethnic cuisine.”

The cards — worth anywhere between $5 and $15,000 — are now available to pick up at stalls near the Egghead statues on campus. Cards are available on a first-come, first-served basis; they are limited to one card per student per day. The amount students receive will depend on the financial bracket they fall into, from “students who had to cancel their Netflix subscription and now sneak into cinema classes for entertainment” to “students who say they come from ‘comfortable’ upper-middle class backgrounds but drive a Mercedes to class.”

UC Davis signed a partnership contract with Chipotle on March 27, and the university announced that it will hand out gift cards to students while supplies last. Administrators — who are already reporting high demand for the cards — are said to be looking into partnering with Qdoba, El Pollo Loco and Del Taco to expand their aid supply.

“I am really glad that campus is providing this support for students — especially those who need it,” Johnny Persim, a second-year puppeteering major, said. “I know a lot of my friends rely on the financial aid from FAFSA to support themselves and their educational journey. I’m confident that the burden of a four-year education will be more than satisfied by free burrito bowls.”

Over 72% of UC Davis students rely on FAFSA to pay for their tuition, according to FAFSA data published before the meteor crash killed everyone on the department’s in-house analysis team. On average, those students’ tuition was 49.9% covered by financial aid. With the Chipotle support, that average is now 4.99%.

“I hope this will benefit the student body while we wait for updates from FAFSA,” Deanna Vilven, a sixth-year Wingdings major, said. “We don't know how long this will last. I haven’t seen people this competitive since ASUCD dropped their trading cards.”

To address recent surges in demand, Chipotle is rushing to hire people to ensure that business flows smoothly. Davis Chipotle Manager Chippy Lee said that the crowds the downtown location is facing are unprecedented.

“We are so busy now that the line goes from our doors out to the cows in Tercero,” Lee said. “I’m trying to hire more people, but we just can’t train them fast enough. It’s like it’s 1,000 National Tortilla Chip Day every day.”

But UC Davis isn’t planning to rest on its laurels. A university spokesperson said that the school hopes to create new jobs by introducing a new work-study program to pave over the Arboretum and make new parking spaces.

“At the end of the day, when the federal government steps back, it’s our responsibility to step up, get our hands dirty and make students compete for ever-dwindling access to aid,” the spokesperson said. “That’s the Davis thing to do.”

Disclaimer: This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of "sources" are fictionalized.

Written by: Rachel Tran and Vince Basada — campus@theaggie.org