Student researchers reveal they actually have no idea what they are talking about
They are reading over their publication with the same confusion as you
By KATIE HELLMAN — science@theaggie.org
As a tier-one research university, it makes sense that UC Davis attracts students with their sights set on joining a research lab. Whether that be STEM majors wanting to get into cell culturing, computer science majors interested in neural networking or environmental science majors excited to become involved with fieldwork, students jump at the opportunity to delve into a subject that interests them (and hopefully earn a publication in the process).
Reading these publications in prestigious, peer-reviewed journals might make un-published, lab-less students seethe with jealousy. When did everyone else get so much experience? Why weren’t they the ones who got to dedicate hours of their day to unpaid labor? How did they sound so smart?
If these qualms sound like yours, reader, don’t fret —- it seems as if some of these undergraduate researchers, upon careful analysis, actually have no idea what they are talking about.
If you have ever come across a research article consisting of a myriad of scientific terms and indecipherable phrases and thought to yourself, “I have absolutely no idea what that means,” you are not alone.
A third-year student majoring in aerospace engineering recently had his work published in a paper titled, “Application of Fluid Dynamics in the Construction of Solar-Fueled Propellers for Space Aircrafts.” When questioned about the research this student conducted and what inspired his passion for the topic, he repeatedly shrugged and avoided eye contact.
“I don’t know,” the student said. “I just like airplanes.”
Another student, a fourth-year majoring in psychology, was excited to present the project that she had worked on for the entirety of the school year. She claimed her work was “monumental” and “groundbreaking.” Her research focused on the analysis of different musical frequencies and how they affect brain function.
“I did a lot of data collection and stuff,” she said. “And I made some pretty nice graphs based on the colors I saw on the brain scans. Academically, I don’t really know what’s going on. But philosophically, the whole thing is just kind of based on vibes.”
It is expected, of course, for there to be a learning curve when students are introduced to this realm of academia. However, there are some situations which should, perhaps, prompt a student to reconsider their extracurriculars.
A first-year wildlife, fish and conservation biology major was interviewed regarding her work restoring the habitats of salmon in Northern California rivers. She was asked if she could describe her work running assays, which are experimental procedures often used to determine the concentration of an analyte for biomarker identification.
“Assays?” she reportedly said. “I haven’t written one of those in forever. I’m a biology major, not a writing major.”
Although unconfirmed, a source reported that they saw a group of nearby Ph.D students shaking their heads in shame.
The principal investigator (PI) of this student’s study was interviewed as well.
“She usually just restocks the pipettes,” the PI stated. “Sometimes, she comes in and knocks them over by accident. Honestly, I kind of forgot she was in this lab.”
Nevertheless, despite all the mispronounced terminology and inconclusive experimental results one may face, research experience can be a crucial academic stepping-stone to a student’s future career and a great way to build confidence, resilience and patience.
“I made some cool discoveries today,” a second-year pre-med student remarked as he exited his lab at the UC Davis Medical Center, his face glowing. “I can’t tell you what they are. Like, I literally could not tell you. But they are going to be revolutionary.”
Written by: Katie Hellman — science@theaggie.org