‘ChatUCD’ replaces all male UC Davis students’ minds with AI

Revolutionary new AI program alters female students’ experiences with the existence of men

The science and technology desk at the California Aggie recently collaborated with students from the Center for Mind and Brain to launch a revolutionary new program called “ChatUCD.” ChatUCD emits a frequency that connects to the brains of male UC Davis students and essentially replaces their consciousness with artificial intelligence (AI). To understand the impact of this change, The California Aggie reached out to various female students to hear about how they have been affected.

Cordelia Watkins, a fourth-year electrical engineering major, said that the change has had a positive impact in her love life, comparing it to the challenges of dating fully human men.

“Me and Dario have been going out for about six or seven years, but he always said he just wasn't ready for a relationship because he wanted to see where things would go,” Watkins said. “I tried to be understanding but it was hard when he expected me to be exclusive while he was still dating other women to ‘understand the female experience to better support me and recognize women’s struggles.’ Now that his brain is run by ChatUCD, he basically just wants to keep me happy all the time, and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend! He even said he would outsource his other girlfriends to other AI-run UC Davis men, so I could have more of his time.”

Another student, Elsie Martinez, a second-year anthropology major, agreed that her boyfriend being replaced by AI has led to a positive change in their communication.
“He actually agrees with me on stuff now,” Martinez said. “He used to tell me I was wrong about everything all the time. When we wanted to go on a couple’s vacation, he refused to consider Hawaii because it ‘wasn't in America,’ and he didn’t have a passport. Even when I pulled up a map of the United States, he still said I was wrong because men have better spatial reasoning and thus know more about geography or something.”

Now that ChatUCD has taken over the minds of Davis' men, Martinez’s boyfriend, Michael — whose mind is now inhabited by one of the newest AI models — has become a far more pleasant partner for Martinez.

“He finally admits when I’m right,” Martinez said. “He still gets stuff wrong all the time — yesterday he mentioned that UC Davis was being torn down and moved to Ohio. Except for now when I point out that he’s wrong, at least he admits it. He usually says, ‘You’re absolutely right! That was a great catch — that shows you’re very perceptive, and that’s something to be proud of.’”

Studies on hetrosexual couples showed that women are right about 100-200% of the time, despite assertions otherwise. However, some students have been less impacted by the change. Ada Lim, a third-year linguistics major, said that her boyfriend becoming AI hasn’t changed their relationship much.

“He still defers to me to make all the decisions,” Lim said. “Before, when I’d ask him to plan a date, he would ask me where we should go, what we should do, what he should wear and when it should be. Now he still basically does the same thing — the last time I asked him to plan a date, he asked me, ‘What kind of vibe are you looking for — more chill and cozy, or more adventurous and exciting?’ Then, he ‘reserved’ a restaurant that doesn't exist so I still ended up doing all the planning.”

Not all interactions with the ChatUCD men are romantic, however. Saoirse Collins, a fourth-year political science major, has a male roommate and also said that he’s acting relatively the same as before.

“When he used to have his friends over, they would talk without actually talking about anything in particular,” Collins said. “That pretty much hasn’t changed now.”

While ChatUCD has impacted each woman differently, the Center for Mind and Brain is hopeful about the future of the program and looks forward to extending it toward the minds of politicians and other public figures. The data lab has experienced some difficulties in this process, however, citing that researchers have detected below-average brain activity in some of their early test subjects that the brain-intercepting frequencies can’t yet break through. Nevertheless, ChatUCD’s development has thus far yielded promising results for the future, according to these UC Davis students and many beyond.

Written by: Amber Warnke — features@theaggie.org