Y/N tells all: the realities of being sold to One Direction

An interview with someone who can only be described as ‘not like the other girls’

There was once a time when One Direction seemed to rule the world. Their songs aired on every radio station, and their posters were plastered on the walls of teen girls’ rooms everywhere. Every fan wanted to be the one they sang their love songs about, but not everyone could be, because there’s only one person to whom those songs belong.

That girl is Y/N, who has a true insider’s perspective — she lived an ordinary life until her own stepmother sold her to the band for rent money. Having long since slipped out of the spotlight, she currently lives in our very own Davis, and finally agreed to an interview about her experiences more than a decade ago.

At the cafe where our interview took place, Y/N sat in a beat-up hoodie and ripped jeans, flipping through a book. Her dark brown hair, streaked with lighter strands, was tied up into a casual ponytail, and when she looked up, her orbs were a bright shining blue that resembled tropical ocean waters.

A New York City native, Y/N’s problems began early; despite being the most beautiful girl in her schools, she struggled due to the fact that her father had passed while she was young and left her under the care of a merciless, vain stepmother. She also grew up bullied by her two stepsisters, who friends of the family say treated her poorly because she was so much prettier and smarter than them.

Even outside of her home, Y/N had little luck throughout her life in her friendships.

“I wasn’t like the other girls growing up,” Y/N said. “I liked books more than boys and makeup, so they all hated me and called me weird.”

Little did she know that her life would soon be entwined with a certain entourage of superstar pop singers named Harry, Louis, Zayn, Liam and Niall.

“The first time I saw One Direction was at one of their concerts,” Y/N said. “My stepsisters made me go so I could hold their bags the whole time. Which was fine, because I just spent the whole time reading my book.”

Eyewitnesses recalled the band, especially member Harry Styles, being so completely fascinated with the one girl in the audience who had brought a book that they repeatedly messed up lyrics and stumbled in their awe.

Harry pointed right at Y/N before the start of “What Makes You Beautiful” and said “This one’s for you, girl,” according to one such witness.

When asked whether she could confirm this to be true, however, Y/N only shrugged.
“I wouldn’t know,” Y/N said. “I was reading.”

However, the combination of expensive concert tickets and one-too-many mall shopping sprees did damage to her stepmother’s wallet. Rent in New York City was already nearly too expensive for the family to afford, and now they wouldn’t be able to afford it at all.

It was under these circumstances that Y/N’s stepmother allegedly contacted a friend whose aunt’s best friend’s daughter’s boyfriend was a second cousin of One Direction’s Zayn Malik, and set up a deal that Y/N herself knew nothing about.

Y/N shuddered as she recalled the day when she finally discovered her fate.

“I just remember setting down my book and throwing my hair into a messy bun before heading downstairs,” Y/N said. “I wasn’t expecting to find all of One Direction there, let alone for my stepmother to tell me that she’d sold me to them to pay her rent.”

Though the real price of Y/N is still unknown, many sources close to the band claim that it was in the millions.

“I think the boys would have sold all their designer clothes and even their own tour van if it meant getting her,” one source claimed. “They were completely bewitched.”

Fans of the band and Y/N alike have wondered desperately what her life was like with One Direction. However, upon being asked this very question, Y/N only sighed and admitted that they would be quite disappointed with the truth.

“I don’t know why everyone thinks the boys liked me,” Y/N said. “Most days I just sat in the back of the tour bus or concert venue and read. They mostly just left me alone.”

However, an anonymous former employee of the band claimed that while Y/N might have remained unaware, the five band mates were constantly competing for her affections.

“It was a bloodbath,” the employee said. “They were always fighting over who got to bring her coffee, or whether she smiled at one of them specifically, or who wrote the best song about her ‘dazzling orbs.’”

As for how many of those songs made it into the world? Most of One Direction’s love songs were written about Y/N, the anonymous employee alleges.

“I’d say 80%,” the employee said. “And that’s a low estimate.”

Eventually, however, Y/N decided to leave the band, sick of the spotlight. When asked if this decision was hard, however, she said it was “quite easy, actually.”

“When paparazzi follow you everywhere and everyone keeps asking about your dating life, you really miss having your own space to escape to,” Y/N said. “That’s why I moved to Davis. It’s across the country from where everyone would look for me, and small enough that none of the One Direction members would ever have a concert here.”

Having revealed her location to the public, Y/N explained that she would now have to leave and settle down somewhere else far from here.

“It’s a shame, because I really like Davis,” Y/N said. “The smell of cows really keeps the paparazzi away.”

The question is, will Y/N be the only one with such an experience to her name? Or are other boy groups following in One Direction’s footsteps? Only time will tell, though an anonymous source reports a certain K-pop super group may be doing just that…and perhaps giving us another tell-all with it.

Written by: Natalie Salter — arts@theaggie.org