Alcohol found in Segundo Dining Commons apple juice
Students and DC workers described the controversial beverage situation
By GRACIELA TIU — opinion@theaggie,org
Apple juice in the Segundo Dining Commons (DC) has reportedly been found to contain various amounts of alcohol, as students noticed upon returning for spring quarter.
Workers observed changes in student DC habits, with an increase in people choosing to drink apple juice over other beverages and lines for the juice dispenser surpassing even the Mongolian barbecue line. Though most students quickly came to learn about the drink’s alcohol content, workers and staff remained in the dark for quite some time.
“The juice lines were so long every day, and I couldn’t figure out why,” Timothy Shalameat, a Segundo DC worker, said. “At least 10 people a day have been trying to sneak out cups of apple juice, […] but I had never seen anyone even drink apple juice before this quarter.”
Most first-years in the dorms aren’t able to purchase alcohol, given that they tend to be under the legal drinking age. Now, many of them have been taking advantage of the situation and obtaining alcohol during their mealtimes instead of finding alternative means.
“I was going to buy a fake ID, but now, thanks to Segundo DC, I don’t have to!” Chad Sendyski, a first-year economics major, said. “Now I can get lit whenever I want. Super stoked to see Segundo DC providing such important necessities for our underage community here at Davis.”
Students shared varying descriptions of the juice, leading many to believe the recipe changes by the day. Some say the juice tastes similar to spiked cider, with others noting that it tastes twice as strong — one student even described it as a “sour apple Four Loko.” One first-year explained how the seemingly fluctuating amounts of alcohol in the juice affected her friend.
“My friend was pounding like seven cups of apple juice each day, and he was totally fine,” Sarah Ferda, a first-year biochemistry major, said. “On Tuesday, though, I found him passed out at 9 a.m. in the Bixby first floor lounge. He doesn’t even live in Bixby — I think he’s been coming from Cuarto every day for the juice.”
When asked, Segundo DC workers denied having known anything about the alcohol. However, some workers have been spotted drinking the juice themselves, according to student witnesses.
“Yeah, they definitely knew about the alcohol in the juice,” Sendyski said. “I saw one worker secretly pouring a cup of it into a flask behind the register. I don’t think anyone else noticed, though, since most people were already so drunk from breakfast. I literally saw one girl try to swipe her Yolo Berry rewards card instead of her student ID.”
Due to the potential dangers and massive legal violations surrounding the apple juice, the school has been working fervently to repair the situation and remove it from dispensers. Despite this, students are hoping for similar situations to occur in other dining commons as well.
“I heard a rumor that the Cuarto DC ice cream is next,” Ferda said. “I don’t know who’s responsible or if they’ll continue, but I hope they keep up the good work.”
The school has yet to uncover who the apple juice culprit is, but top administrative officials have noted that they won’t stop until they track them down. Until then, the campus community can only sneak sips of apple juice as they wait for the mystery to be solved.
Written by: Graciela Tiu — opinion@theaggie.org
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)