Humor

This rock is real DAVIS, CA — After a unanimous decision by KDVS staff, the freeform radio station will air an hour of interim Chancellor Ralph Hexter passing a kidney stone the size of a mature blueberry. The Aggie spoke with KDVS DJ DeadCow5, who explained that, in order to be at the very forefront […]

Davis Campus Readers feel heat after inviting dead author to campus Davis Campus Readers (DCR), a book club at UC Davis, has had its funding cut and will be forced off campus by the end of Winter Quarter after providing a platform for some questionable speech. The club asked Ayn Rand to come speak to […]

Don’t take the Enneagram in front of your friends “My parents met through a personality test.” A few years ago, my friend in high school was trying to convince me to take a personality test called the Enneagram, and I was in no mood for any crunchy, Berkeley, spirituality mumbo jumbo. I’m a man of […]

Davis Campus Readers feel heat after inviting dead author to campus Davis Campus Readers (DCR), a book club at UC Davis, has had its funding cut and will be forced off campus by the end of Winter Quarter after providing a platform for some questionable speech. The club asked Ayn Rand to come speak to […]

Students make the best out of a steamy, overcrowded situation It’s that time of year again when it rains non-stop and everybody takes the bus to campus. It might be tempting to view this experience in a negative light, but some local UC Davis students are taking another approach entirely. “I sort of like the […]

Number-one sustainable school looks to extend its lead After earning the rank of number-one sustainable university in the world, UC Davis has unveiled its next step toward zero emissions. To go along with Safe Ride vans, students will now have the opportunity to bike home with the help of a licensed safety officer. Just like […]

Looking at common interests in relationships I visited my housemate in Colombia over Winter Break. We went to the coast to celebrate New Year’s with his sister and her boyfriend, and we met his sister’s friends, a newlywed couple from Mexico City. They were living proof of the idiom “opposites attract.” The wife was lively, […]

Help It’s 11:30 a.m., and I’m in class looking at slides. I’ve had an adequate amount of sleep. I drank in moderation last night. I did everything right. How are these verb conjugations of “nosotros” not more fun for me? Look at the dude in this book: He’s driving a 1994 Camaro, and his cabello […]

Tim Allen chimed in: “I am Jesus of Nazareth.” Senior Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway was asked Sunday about Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s decision to make up information regarding inauguration crowd sizes. In defending Spicer, she coined the term “alternative facts.” The term has been the subject of some controversy. Many have speculated that the alternative […]

Poultry and rodents form an unlikely partnership to get snacks and entertainment We all know that turkeys are currently gobbling up the previously comforting and fun streets of downtown Davis with their violence. What we didn’t know was that the squirrels from the UC Davis campus were the ones who ordered these feathered fiends to […]

Students react to recent revelations that their mood has a dramatic impact on the weather It’s agreed upon by most students at UC Davis that Winter Quarter tends to be the worst. The gloomy, rainy days tend to put a damper on students going to and from class under cloudy skies. This year is no […]

No remorse shown for quarterly hires as five students get the ax After a year of writing satirical news about the UC Davis campus, the school newspaper is shutting down the humor desk. In an attempt to save its image and not be a phony news source, The California Aggie has parted ways with five […]