Humor

The story of a man who lures guests to his parties with deceptively fun photos According to a report obtained by The California Aggie, local student Brendan Yarden, a third-year communication major and aspiring clown-college graduate, is throwing a party this coming Friday. “A huge part of throwing a party is having a really good […]

Alcohol, like Sriracha, is the nectar of life — but only in moderation I eat the same lunch every day. It’s disgusting and boring. I find the cheapest frozen, boneless, skinless chicken breasts Costco has to offer, pretend to season them, throw them on a pan and plate them. They’re so dry that I feel […]

Our ancestors who stayed in died in blazes of mediocrity I took a break from my diet the other week. I’m usually pretty strict on eating nothing but chicken breasts, egg whites, sadness and sautéed vegetables, but sometimes, I just want to pig out. In the morning, my friends wanted a Baba’s breakfast burrito, so […]

How a brave student inspired a generation by speaking up when everybody else was also willing to speak up UC Davis is such a large institution with so many brilliant students that it’s probably impossible to say there’s a single one that outsmarts the others ー until now. Eric Dukakis, second-year neurobiology, physiology and behavior […]

What losing can do for you The best thing to ever happen to me was the first time I asked a girl to dance. I was in the sixth grade. My skater phase. Yeah, I had the skinny jeans and Vans, and I only wore Billabong, Quiksilver and Hurley shirts. My mom kept trying to […]

A detailed look at coming changes to our campus that will definitely not have any consequences. It’s been evident lately that there are more bodies on campus this fall than in years past. Bike circles are terrifyingly crowded, the CoHo is constantly packed and all the construction certainly has not helped alleviate the crowds. But […]

A new study released by the Davis Polling Society (DPS) on Wednesday revealed that the ASUCD President’s numbers appear to be “less favorable” given the new design of the Aggie Card. Last Winter Quarter, the school’s new commander-in-chief ran on the platform of designing a new card, which is now a mix of blue, green […]

After nearly three years of construction on Freeborn Hall, UC Davis has decided to halt construction once and for all. Given the university’s lack of progress on retrofitting and modernizing its largest lecture hall, Ronald Elliott, Davis’ chief architect on the project, decided it was time to lay the work to rest. “We’ve put a […]

A Journey of Redemption After a quarter full of hard-hitting, weighty op-eds touching on serious topics such as houseboats and the benefits of drinking cheap vodka, I couldn’t wait to get to work on my next slate of articles for The California Aggie. But when I pitched my stories to Eli Flesch, the Opinion Editor, […]

WEST VILLAGE — A police search for a potentially armed clown turned up empty late Sunday as investigators determined the only clowns to be found in West Village were the ones paying for its overpriced amenities. Officials said there is no longer the threat of a knife-wielding circus performer, but only the threat of overpriced […]

As UC Davis runs short on space for computers and classrooms, the administration is looking for more places to provide help for its students. The largest open space is the Arboretum. Located on the southernmost tip of campus, the Arboretum is home to thousands of different species of plants, animals and insects. Todd Donald, director […]

Growing number of small Scriptures causes problems on the UC Davis campus It’s long been a rumor that the number of bikes in Davis is greater than the number of people. I’m not sure whether or not this is true, but I do know the chemical formula for photosynthesis. But it’s not the number of […]