Opinion

Humor: MU tables perfect height for all the children that study there
HumorMay 22, 2017
New Memorial Union lives up to the lowest of possible expectations The new Memorial Union (MU) has surprisingly received a lot of complaints from students. Most of them revolve around the fact that it looks like an airport, mostly because it absolutely does. But what a lot of people seem to be overlooking is the […]

Clean water is a basic human right
EditorialMay 22, 2017
The fight for clean water doesn’t end after drought stops When you woke up this morning, what did you do? Did you brush your teeth, take a shower or perhaps cook some oatmeal for breakfast? It’s so easy to turn on a faucet that most people don’t give a second thought to how much water […]

Humor: Investigation — Does the CoHo use powdered guac?
HumorMay 22, 2017
The horrifying truth behind what goes into that extra scoop of guacamole It’s difficult to decipher, especially in this age of fake news, what’s true and what’s false. The only things worse than fake news are the misinformation it spreads and the mass hysteria it can cause. In order to stop this treachery, The California […]

Humor: Pokémon sues UC Davis after MU II sounds too much like popular character
HumorMay 22, 2017
Similarities with Mewtwo, MU II lead to legal battle between unlikely foes After the completion of the Memorial Union’s renovations earlier this month, UC Davis has decided to rename the student center. The MU II, as it is now called, was retrofitted and received a bit of a makeover from the last time it was […]

How to be an Agvocate
ColumnMay 21, 2017
A basic guide to agricultural advocacy Agricultural advocacy is as broad as it is specific, as vague as it is complex. It comes in many different forms, which is probably why it’s so hard to recognize. What you may do to conserve energy or be conscious about the products you consume could be considered agricultural […]

Humor: Twitter is, above all, my own personal garbage can
HumorMay 18, 2017
My opinions have to go somewhere A good friend once told me that “the only people that I know who have a Twitter are Donald Trump, Nihilist Arby’s and you.” Though I’m flattered to be associated with such an elite group of accounts, I have to argue that my Twitter has a little more to […]

A glimpse into the lives of Millennial parents
ColumnMay 18, 2017
Millennial parents question traditional values of their parents Were you spanked as a child? Have you ever been terrified at the sight of a wooden spoon or, heaven forbid, a belt? Different tendencies, principals and attitudes about parenting have been passed down from mom to daughter and father to son for decades. However, like spanking […]

Humor: Hidden UC money found under large mattress
HumorMay 18, 2017
Shameful moment for the UC system was merely a moment of sheer laziness Headlines buzzed in early May when it was discovered that the UC system had been hiding $175 million in reserves, creating an uproar among UC students. However, the whole thing has since been discovered to simply be a big “whoopsie” when one […]

When hazing turns deadly
EditorialMay 16, 2017
Hazing deaths are avoidable but all too common No parent should have to bury their child. But after a fraternity hazing ritual turned deadly, Jim and Evelyn Piazza found themselves having to do just that. The Piazzas are the parents of Timothy Piazza, a second-year engineering major at Penn State who died on Feb. 4. […]

Laughter as medicine
ColumnMay 16, 2017
Research shows laughter can create positive emotional associations A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason. Details are sketchy. Your response to that painful joke might have been an open mouth with a ‘haha,’ a jerking of the body and probably loss of breath. It’s laughter — something that we all should experience […]

How nuclear war is depicted in sci-fi
ColumnMay 15, 2017
Increasing nuclear tensions makes science fiction more relevant If you’re like me, you’ve probably been thinking a lot about nuclear war. Nukes have existed and proliferated my whole life, but the possibility of a nuclear war always seemed far off — a worry that seemed as antiquated and irrelevant as the Soviet Union. I remember […]

Humor: School asks students to limit health problems to within normal business hours
HumorMay 15, 2017
Administration continues to offer problem-free experience to students Universities always have the students in mind. No exceptions. Overcrowding? You won’t have to worry about that when you’re dead. Not enough spaces to study? The MU now has lots of tables that are an entire three inches off the ground. Stop complaining! Now, UCD, which stands […]

