Opinion
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Humor: Terrorizing turkeys found to be in cahoots with Davis squirrels
HumorJanuary 24, 2017
Poultry and rodents form an unlikely partnership to get snacks and entertainment We all know that turkeys are currently gobbling up the previously comforting and fun streets of downtown Davis with their violence. What we didn’t know was that the squirrels from the UC Davis campus were the ones who ordered these feathered fiends to […]
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The dangerous return of nationalism
ColumnJanuary 23, 2017
An uptick in right-wing movements bodes ill across the globe The rise and fall of nations is inevitable — it’s a cycle that has gone on for centuries. The Middle East was the center of scientific discovery and other literary pursuits, but now its very name is considered synonymous with chaos and terrorism. Greece, one […]

Humor: Winter storm manifestation of student body’s sadness
HumorJanuary 23, 2017
Students react to recent revelations that their mood has a dramatic impact on the weather It’s agreed upon by most students at UC Davis that Winter Quarter tends to be the worst. The gloomy, rainy days tend to put a damper on students going to and from class under cloudy skies. This year is no […]
Humor: Increase in fake news leads The Aggie to shut down humor desk
HumorJanuary 22, 2017
No remorse shown for quarterly hires as five students get the ax After a year of writing satirical news about the UC Davis campus, the school newspaper is shutting down the humor desk. In an attempt to save its image and not be a phony news source, The California Aggie has parted ways with five […]

Preparing for the worst in Joshua Tree National Park
ColumnJanuary 22, 2017
Stupidity and nature intersect marvelously in the High Desert of California Few things complement each other with such ease as the National Park System and the Darwin Awards do. Nature has always brought out the worst in man, but it was only since the mid-1980’s that an organization — The Darwin Awards — started formally […]

Welcome to Trump’s ugly America
EditorialJanuary 20, 2017
Obama’s legacy threatened by incoming administration Many students watching President Donald J. Trump’s inauguration today would understandably feel a deep sense of loss for the departure of one of America’s most respected leaders. President Barack Obama will be remembered, among accomplishments that include reforming American health care, championing a groundbreaking climate agreement and bringing the […]
A Dip into the Daily Life of the Racially Ambiguous
ColumnJanuary 20, 2017
People assume that I’m a whole spread of ethnicities. This is my story. It’s not that I really like hummus simply because I was raised eating it. I really like hummus because in a way, I am hummus. A Levantine dish, cherished for centuries by every country in the Middle East, each putting their own […]
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Remove the roadblocks to self-driving in California
ColumnJanuary 20, 2017
State imposes unnecessary regulations on Uber’s autonomous vehicle experiment Most Californians know the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) as a bureaucratic dungeon. The DMV has an enormously negative connotation, evoking memories of the hours drivers are forced to waste in its stuffy, beige, odorous offices. It seems the apparatchiks that head this regulatory hydra have […]
Humor: Professors still without answers in understanding projector technology
HumorJanuary 20, 2017
Aggies advised to pray their next in-class video doesn’t also require sound UC Davis has long been considered a magnet for some of the greatest scientists and engineers in the nation. Advancements in mass agriculture, clean energy and disease treatment can all be attributed to the geniuses, visionaries and prodigies who have graced these hallowed […]
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Humor: Extra week of winter break gives students additional time to do absolutely nothing
HumorJanuary 16, 2017
How three UC Davis students productively wasted their winter break UC students were treated to an extra week of winter break this school year. The additional time off gave many UC Davis students the chance to accomplish a lot — a chance most of them squandered by doing absolutely nothing. The California Aggie talked to […]
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I don’t just fear Trump. I fear the Republican Party
ColumnJanuary 16, 2017
Partisan politics threaten the integrity, values of our country more now than ever Here we are: the year that Donald J. Trump officially becomes President of the United States. It’s no surprise that Trump’s inauguration next week has sent ripples of horror throughout the country. Trump reimagines, warps or simply disregards the truth — about […]
Humor: UC Davis horror story — student forgets to Snapchat hammock experience
HumorJanuary 15, 2017
The terrible tale of Katie Custodio and the hammock quad It was a beautiful Davis day on January 11th. Second-year student Katie Custodio was released from her lecture 10 minutes early, a gift from the ghost of Gunrock. She fled to the Memorial Union with gusto, her heart set on a coveted taco salad from […]

