Opinion

Movies and vaginas, they go together like bread and butter. Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie and Cameron Diaz are just a few of the lovely ladies that grace movie screens across the world. But they have something else in common. They all failed.

I never feel more American than when I’m drinking water.

If there is a place where any comment can and will be construed as having the most offensive meaning possible given its limited length and wording, that place is every comment forum on the internet.

“My girlfriend got cancer at 22. She spent everything she had and worked two jobs, 80 to 90 hours a week to pay for chemotherapy. She kept working even during treatment. We still live paycheck to paycheck one year later. I am the 99 percent.”

Mayor Joe Krovoza and The Aggie (see editorial 9/29/11) are urging students to support The Davis-Woodland Water project estimated cost $325 million, plus $89 million for water rights. I urge students not to support the present project and to sign a petition that would put this proposal to a vote of the whole Davis electorate next year.

A new Starbucks coffee location is set to open this week in the North Silo, furthering the corporation’s grip on our impressionable eating habits. This is the second Starbucks on campus, both of which are run by the also national Sodexo, Inc., a self described “world leader” in food service.

The walk along the north side of the Quad can be like a game of dodgeball as you avoid various people asking you to sign this petition or register for that service. Everyone has their own way to skirt past these pesky individuals, but here are some tips we think can be foolproof tactics.

If today you find yourself innocently lingering on your beloved’s Facebook page, tomorrow you might just be sitting on the ledge of his or her third-story window, hidden by the darkness of twilight. However, it’s important that you learn to display the right amount of infatuation. The rest should be locked in an impermeable safe and buried in a sandy wasteland.

Several years ago, at the tender age of 16, I lost my ability to spell. Now you may ask how it might have been that I lost that ability, but I think the more important question to ask is how I gained it back. I will do you the favor of answering both.

It’s too bad that I have to wait until Tuesday to file my comment on the Berkeley College Republican bake sale. Since my column last week, the story in its various permutations have sprinted their course through the media. A variety of news outlets ran the initial story, talking heads passed their judgment and by virtue of the story’s proximity to Davis, most folks here have probably decided where they land on the controversy.

I read the articles last spring on police spying on student demonstrations with alarm. Rather than risk having current students end up like me, here’s a tip and a tale:

I read the editorial on Sept. 22 titled “It’s going to be a bumpy ride” with great emotion. The California Aggie asked readers whom we should blame for the rising cost of our education. Fortunately, I know who is to blame for the rising tuition rates, at least this year.