Opinion

If you read this column with any regularity, or if you know me in person, you’ll know that I’m pretty much an open book. This is the no-spin zone, if you will. But I dare say you’re going to have to bear with me this week because, I’m going to describe – in rather gross detail – some issues regarding my ability (or, in actuality, my inability) to poo-poo properly like any normal human being.

Toward the end of last school year, there were several instances of what I imagined to be the smell of burning rubber tires seeping through my dorm windows. The odor would creep in and out, floating along the summer breeze. Each wave of the smell was cringe-worthy.

Perhaps it’s appropriate that we’re in Old Town Sacramento when the conversation of ghosts and demons comes up. It’s Paul, Jerrel and I eating hot dogs after the clever owner of a hot dog joint just cheated us into buying sodas.

Last week I attended a guest lecture by Tim Wise, who is considered a notable anti-racist activist. The theme of his nearly two-hour speech was “white privilege” in America. Mr. Wise dug into racial issues that he believes are not discussed nearly enough in this country, and when discussed people are simply afraid to tell the truth.

I had three papers to write last week, averaging no more than two hours of sleep each night. Cinco de Mayo was on Wednesday and it would have been a shame to let my culture go uncelebrated. The weekend was trippy, to say the least, complete with hippies, raves and the nicest lady ever who took my dirty dish and gave me a dollar. All that was followed by a very hungover phone call home to wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day. I’m exhausted.

If Taylor Swift thinks she can bat her whopping eyelashes at me and win me over, she is sorely mistaken.

Although the impulse to help people by controlling them may sound like a good idea to some, adhering to democratic ideals strike it from the list of viable options. But policy leaders in Europe have been increasingly more inclined to “protect” Muslim women – and the rest of the population – from themselves by banning them from wearing hijab in public. If you’ve ever before read this column, I think you know my opinion on this issue.

The UC Center Sacramento announced last week that UC Davis is stepping up to the take management control of the center.

Fifty years ago, visionary leaders created California’s Master Plan for Higher Education. For decades, the master plan provided millions of Californians with opportunities to pursue their academic ambitions and improve their vocational skills. A well-trained and educated workforce entered the private sector and enhanced California’s reputation as a state on the cutting edge of the future, creating new and exciting industries, powering our economic growth and engaging in trailblazing research.

The Aggie’s editorial on April 29 criticizing urgent spending measures was well intentioned, but we feel it needs some clarification: ASUCD Senate meetings are always open to the public, and the minute recordings for each meeting are posted the following week. A count of previous years’ urgent resolutions as a proportion of total legislation passed would show that the currently elected senators have passed less urgent legislation than ASUCD Senates have in recent years.

It was almost a year ago to the day last Sunday (possibly untrue) when I was startled from a booze-induced bout of hibernation by four hoodlums crawling through my bedroom window.

When this asshole named David Hasselhoff blew off an interview that his minions had requested with the Aggie, he cruelly obliterated my childhood dream of having my boobies autographed by a D-list actor. It was ’round 10 a.m. and he was reportedly drunk, so I guess everyday is Picnic Day for the Hoff. Luckily, one of my friends stepped up and vowed to boycott all future Baywatch reruns. That’s a real friend.