Opinion

The legacy of the UC Davis Athletics Department is that of a broad-based sports program. It was never intended to fit the Big 12 Conference model or that of the other major conferences. Instead, more teams were fielded to give student-athletes a wider variety of opportunities across the board.

Winter often found me hiding away in the lonesome spires of my manor, looking out over dark seas on moonless nights. Winter is a time for reflection and the spinning of existential carousels, for drinking whiskey by the fireplace and whispering in low tones while hiding from rancorous storms and days that end too early.

I really don’t get why anyone would catch a round of senioritis in college. Sure, there was a moment when I was finishing out all-nighter No. 2 in the basement of Bainer Hall ’round 5 a.m. when I briefly entertained the notion of just becoming a stripper. Coincidentally, a few days later I would attend a party where I found being a stripper means letting strangers eat whipped cream out of your ass crack and, well, I’m just not comfortable with that yet.

The bases are loaded and it’s the bottom of the ninth. The fans are cheering and the fate of the World Series is resting on your shoulders. You may be wondering why I’m referring to a baseball game when this is supposed to be about sex and relationships, right? Well, remember the good old days of high school – make that middle school, really – when we discussed our sex lives as if we were playing baseball.

My spring break was way better than all of yours. I feel like I can confidently say this because I went to the happiest place on earth. No, not Vegas. Disneyland! Probably the only place in the world where you can eat foods shaped like mice and not want to throw up. Tell me that’s not magical. A trip to the park was long overdue. I was still closing my eyes on the Haunted Mansion ride the last time I went – so it’s been like five years. I was more than ready for some giant walking characters, overpriced souvenirs and at least a churro or two.

A $1.79 million reduction to the UC Davis Intercollegiate Athletics Department could result in the removal of up to nine teams from the 2010-2011 budget.

In California one of our most prized democratic principles is keeping government proceedings open and transparent. A loophole in the law, however, means groups like the ASUCD Senate don’t have to obey the state’s open meeting rules.

When I was in elementary school, this was this time of year when my Jewishness was most obvious. For eight days, instead of enjoying my usual peanut butter and jelly on wheat bread, I’d eat it on matza – the cracker-like substance I loathe to term “Bread of Affliction.”

I feel like I forgot how to write. I think it’s because I’m no longer chilling out next to the newspaper crease, which is making me feel out of my element.

Alice, the girl I had a crush on for two years, was the first one out of all of us to do weed in high school. Five years later, we’re at McDonalds – somewhere she only agreed to go to because it was Filet-O-Fish Friday – and she’s telling us about ayahuasca, a root drug she took during her trip to Peru last fall.

A new season is about to begin and hope springs eternal. The familiar stalwarts from yesteryear are gone, and its time to evaluate the fresh crop of hopefuls. Yes, the ballot season is upon us, and it’s time to break out the voter information guides.

How can this be? How can you already have The Aggie in your hands? Did you even have a spring break?