Opinion

I don’t care what you say. Persian parents have no idea how to celebrate American holidays.

It’s the week before finals and all through the school – just kidding.

Our challenge, our future

The autumn winds of discontent are blowing through California. The student protests that occurred on UC campuses will undoubtedly continue into the foreseeable future. Unfortunately, the state’s budget problems haven’t been solved yet, despite the passion from protestors.

Welcome back, loves. Hope you all had a wonderful break. For some of you, the break meant heading back to your hometowns for some much needed family time. For others, it meant stuffing your faces with a silo’s worth of food. For me, however, the break meant a long weekend away from my boyfriend Arthur. Since I’m so used to sleeping in the same full-size bed with him every night, you can imagine how difficult it was for me to endure a twin-size mattress alone.

Have you ever had a really great idea you just can’t stop thinking about? Well, I sure do. Here it is: terraforming the moon. Every time I read about some foolhardy, quasi-scientific endeavor, I bang my spoon on the table in unparalleled fury. Don’t these people know they could be engineering a renewable atmosphere on the moon right now? The earth isn’t going to last forever!

I await this event all year. No, I’m not talking about Shark Week (the greatest seven days of the year, mind you). I’m talking about Thanksgiving. The day American families come together, give thanks and collectively strengthen our reputation for being obese. Not a terrible way to spend a day, right?

We’ve all been there. You have the outfit, the shoes, but no date. So what do you do? Do you ask the guy you’ve been eyeing in your CMN [enter three digit number here] class to get coffee? Do you make a drunken fool of yourself at the bars in hopes someone will notice you? Or do you make your Facebook status say, \

At the peak of last week’s protests against a 32 percent fee increase, 52 students and faculty attempted to occupy Mrak Hall and were arrested for trespassing.

Fifty-two individuals were arrested following the sit-in protest at Mrak Hall on Wednesday, all of whom were released the next day. After 5 p.m. the protest participants were technically trespassing but arrests did not begin until 7 p.m.

I was pretty fucking lazy this week, so instead of writing a long-ass story that’s too difficult to comprehend, I wrote an ADHD version for all you out there who have an attention span of a goldfish – three seconds.

University of California students up and down the state were playing bongos, singing, protesting, picketing, rioting, getting arrested and some were even tasered late last week.