Opinion

UC Davis Police Officer Ralph Nuno began patrolling the campus from the back of his bicycle last week,putting a proverbial stick through the spokes of any would-be criminal’s plans of running a stop sign or worse.

People often complain that no one in college dates and after donning my thinking cap and pondering the question,I have concluded it is simply because nobody knows how.But fear not,my romantically challenged compadres,because I am here to enlighten you. What is a “date“? Think about what the ultimate goal of a “date” is.And no,it’s not just to get laid.If that’s all you’re interested in,then this advice isn’t for you.

Now that May marks my last full month of writing forTheAggie,expect this column and perhaps one or two more to be filed under the “Sentimental Thoughts of an Impending Graduate/Retiring Columnist” folder.Although I know this might seem early because I have a couple of weeks to spare before the end is near,I figured I’d spread the nostalgia around and not subject you minions to three consecutive weeks of my sudden wistfulness for my undergraduate years.

There’s something about the month of May that brings out the crazies.Take a second and look around,listen to what the people around you are talking about,and really think about it.It wouldn’t surprise me if after a while you started to think that all the pretty colors and pleasant aromas wafting off the freshly bloomed “May flowers” have forced them to repress the few rational thoughts their mind is capable of producing,and throw intelligence to the wind.

About400people expecting to go to an E-40concert at Theta Xi were disappointed late last month when the concert was abruptly cancelled without explanation.Ticketholders had to learn by word of mouth that not only was the concert cancelled,but also they would not be able to obtain refunds for the tickets,which cost at least$20each.

We wish to thank the authors ofTheAggie editorial (Binge Drinking Drops,Apr.28) for closing with the key point that “a decline in high-risk drinking is good for everyone” and that “by informing students of their legal responsibilities and fostering positive relations between college students and Davis residents,the (UC Davis Safe Party) program contributed to the wellbeing of students and the community.“ While we appreciate that broader view,we do have a couple of points of disagreement with the editorial.

Dear Editor, Iwouldlike to remind everyone that May13is Teacher Appreciation Day.In addition to their role in the classroom,teachers,both active and retired,contribute much to their community.After retirement,teachers don’t quit,they volunteer.

Fellow Aggies,I have experienced a personal triumph.No,I didn‘t master sleeping with my eyes open in class,nor did I finally figure out the mystery that is traffic.My victory was in vocabulary,and occurred in tiny boxes separated by black spaces.I finished the crossword puzzle.

Mark Cuban may have come up with a business model to save newspapers,but it’s doubtful anyone will listen.In anApr.26blog post (blogmaverick.com),Cuban lays out an idea that newspapers could use to save themselves,but I’m pretty sure newspaper CEO’s don’t read blogs (judging by their general “La lala I can’t hear you” attitude for the past several years).Anyway,his idea is essentially that newspapers should become mini-Amazon.coms for their respective cities.

You’re in debt. I’m in debt. Everyone in this mortgage-saddled, card-swiping, impulse-buying nation is in debt. Our economy is driven by the spending of money not earned, by the focus on short-term gains while taking on conditions that ensure artificial scarcity in the future. This model of debt culture, immediately and unequivocally, must be changed. This change must be internalized at all levels of society to make a world more stable and focused on real value. The specter of indentured servitude must be driven out.

Super Senior,   I just got asked by a couple friends to be on their houseboat over Memorial Day weekend, but I don’t really want to go. It’s also pretty expensive. How should I break the news that I won’t be going?   – At Kinko’s, Straight Flippin‘ Copies   You know, it might seem […]

We’re all gonna die. No, really, they mean it this time; we’re all gonna die. Someone in Mexico thought it would be a good idea to make out with a pig, and now we’re all fucked. Proper fucked. But that’s not the bad news.