Opinion

If you give a financial institution a federal guarantee, they’re going to ask for a loan. When you give them the loan, they probably won’t ask you for, but will take anyway, a half million dollar associate’s retreat to one of the most lavish resorts in the country to go golfing and spend $150,000 on food, $10,000 on liquor and $23,000 on happy endings. When they’re finished, they’ll ask for a napkin.

I was at my internship with my first-grade class the other day (because my life now apparently revolves around tiny people who haven’t yet grasped the concept of sarcasm), and I heard the teacher bring up an interesting topic.

Are you male? Do you watch porn? If your answers to these questions are “yes” and “fuck yes” respectively,you are more likely to objectify women.I am not assuming you do,but the likelihood is strong.The likelihood is correlated with how frequently you watch porn and how frequently your viewings are followed by an orgasm.

In many ways,Senator Barack Obama’s recent triumph radically altered much of the political and electoral landscape.Most importantly,it signals the passing of a prominent school of thought,displaced by another.

Admit it,you’re guilty of procrastination.Most of us are.If you really,truly aren’t,then you must be one of those sick people who has a planner that they carry around everywhere with little neon-colored Post-Its sticking out of the edges,detailing your life from the moment you step outside of your front door to the time you say your last Hail Mary and hop into bed.You start drafting your papers a week before they’re due and you can always be counted on to havedone the readings before class.

Since Wednesday morning,UC Davis undergraduate students have been able to log on to elections.ucdavis.edu to cast their ballot for ASUCD Senate candidates.Senate elections take place every fall and winter quarter to determine the makeup of the12-member bodythat is responsible for approving the association‘s$10.7million budget,initiating new projects and monitoring ASUCD units such as the Coffee House and Unitrans.Students have until Friday at8a.m.to make their selections.

I’d like to say a few words about the environment.Now that the election has run its course and mass media outlets are experiencing a fire-sale for obscure minutiae to cover,it’s time to remind ourselves of the unimpeachable importance of maintaining our global habitat.

Since Wednesday morning, UC Davis undergraduate students have been able to log on to elections.ucdavis.edu to cast their ballot for ASUCD Senate candidates. Senate elections take place every fall and winter quarter to determine the makeup of the 12-member body that is responsible for approving the association’s $10.7 million budget, initiating new projects and monitoring ASUCD units such as the Coffee House and Unitrans.  Students have until Friday at 8 a.m. to make their selections.

Partisanship aside,our generation made historythis election.I don‘t care if you‘re Democrat,Republican,Green,Peace and Freedom,or as indecisive as I am when my friends and I are trying to decide where to go for dinner… Generation Y:we did good!

Something I’ve noticed since last Tuesday is that everywhere I go on campus,there’s someone talking about the recent election.The fact that a presidential election is still generating this much buzz and conversation a week after it’s over says something important about how involved our generation was in this election.

Congratulations you unpatriotic,terrorist-palling,fake American,Islamic Marxists,you did it.You just elected Louis the Sixteenth. For those unfamiliar with the analogy,some history:King Louis XVI was the guy who got his head chopped off during the French Revolution.He didn’t sow the seeds of that revolution,or even really incite it.No,that honor belongs to his predecessor,Louis XV,who left the nation with atrocious poverty,soaring food prices,appalling inequality and anincestuouselite composed of the idle rich and fanatical religious conservatives.Add to that a foreign policy which exceeded the military’s ability to maintain the empire and,most importantly,a massive national debt whichledto an unprecedented financialcrisis,and it’s no wonder that in the last years of his rule,Louis XV said, “Aprés Moi le déluge,” which roughly translates to, “You’re all fucked now.“

Hate is an extremely strong word.In fact,I believe that out of all the words created to show dislike,hate is the most powerful.Think about it.Abhor,detest,spurn,disdain,loathe.None of them portrays an aversionto something like “hate” does.