Opinion

The central pillar of liberalism is a quest for equality in every form. This is its greatest strength and its greatest weakness. At the root of the vast majority of liberal beliefs is an opposition to those with greater power. In nearly any political or societal situation, liberalism takes the side of the “oppressed,” the “dispossessed” or the “disenfranchised.” In foreign policy, America is perceived as being more powerful than other nations, and thus we are assumed to be the bad guy or the aggressor. With the environment, mankind is seen as the destructive overlord of nature, needing to be reined in by regulation, limitation and education. In issues of race, class and gender, the side that is perceived to be weaker is invariably favored: Latinos and blacks, the poor and the downtrodden, women and those “undecided” as to their sex.

Being in college, our metaphorical springboard into a vocational world with options, the following question is all too pertinent for each of us: What is my calling? “Vocation,” which comes from Latinvocare, meaning “to call,” is a word that we don’t hear too often nowadays. In American culture it has been deemed equivalent and synonymous with words and phrases such as “career” or “successful life.” Certainly Americans assume too much. In a discussion about priesthood, a student of mine asked a series of questions like, “Do priests get paid? How much? Where do they live? Do they have houses?” All of them were questions a person might ask about a doctor, an offshore fisherman or a firefighter. The questions went on like this until I had said, “Priesthood is not a career. It is a vocation. It is a lifelong commitment to service in a community that is not taken up for its pay but for the job itself.”

Sometimes, it’s helpful to go back to the things you once loved, just to see how they’re doing. A couple weeks ago, I found myself browsing the Internet in search of Tamagotchis, which I had been mildly obsessed with in the fourth grade. I found myself at this Tamagotchi fansite, which led to the discovery of a very odd Internet locale: the Tamagotchi Graveyard. As the name suggests, this is a place for people to put their virtual pets to rest and mourn for them. Bizarrely enough, all these entries were recent (as in there were entries posted the very day I checked the website) and there were over 2,000 of them.

You know, I’m really over this whole friend zone idea strictly being a boys-only club. All these movies, songs and blog entries that paint girls as shallow cockteasers with a penchant to oversight their male friends over gorgeous yet asshole guys are completely inaccurate. They fail to mention that we like them to be mind-numbingly rich too. Honestly, what’s with this “nice guys finish last” shenanigan I’m hearing about, as if guys were never guilty of committing the same crime? Some say that most guys simply aren’t. Apparently, due to some ridiculous notion roaming out there, a girl can get any guy she wants (given that she’s within a relatively appropriate spectrum of attractiveness) – especially if he’s a friend of hers. A guy who has female friends will basically whip his penis out for any of them per request, depending on when the little lady wants it. It’s a common myth that’s been numerously elaborated from Chris Rock and Woody Allen, to the ever-intricate “ladder theory.” Well I’m here to say nay! If girls can bonk whomever they want, then my unsuccessful love life means that I’m some sort of exceptional boner murderer. Girls fall into the friend zone all the time, so here’s what you can look out for:

The state senate recently passed Senate Bill 1168 in order to aid sick college students. The bill, known as “Michelle’s Law,” will allow dependent college students to take up to 12 months medical leave with a physician’s signed consent. This even includes students who are covered by their parents’ health insurance plans. In addition, this effectively means that students can be absent from school or reduce course load to part-time and still be covered. This is important to students who, due to a medical condition, can no longer be full-time students. UC Davis students are covered by the Student Health Insurance Plan unless they opt to use another plan. Under SHIP, students who have to leave school or reduce their load are covered until the end of the quarter, at which point they can opt to extend their health coverage – at non-student rates.

For the past 12 weeks, this column has attempted to avoid the appeal of commenting on global and national affairs. However, this week I have decided to step off the proverbial soapbox and reserve my endless supply of regent-bashing comments for columns to come. In the past months, the world media has been made very aware of the political turmoil surrounding the upcoming Beijing Olympics, and reports of protests and unrest have littered the route of the symbolic Olympic flame. Upon hearing such reports, some people are appalled at the way in which the Olympic Games, arguably the largest spectacle in world sports, have been infiltrated by the several political agendas of participating nations. Talks of potential boycotts only further highlight the fact that the 2008 Beijing Games will serve mainly as a political arena, rather than an athletic one. However, what some people fail to realize is that the tradition of the Olympic Games has been consistently spoiled by politics for close to 100 years.

Despite protests all over the world, China is keeping the Olympic torch burning as it embarks on a turbulent journey toward Beijing. From London to San Francisco and to Buenos Aires, protesters are strongly demonstrating against China’s crackdown on dissidents and the violations of human rights in Tibet. With world leaders divided on the issue of boycotting the Olympic Games, now is the best time for the United States to take a stand and show its condemnation against the oppressive Chinese rule in Tibet. Through times, the Olympics have been a symbol of peace and unity in the world. It serves as an avenue for more than 200 countries, which share the same ideals and goals, to come together in harmony to celebrate their aspirations and dreams. But how can the 2008 Olympics be a representation of peace and unity if China itself does not believe in the values of democracy and freedom?

After seeing a poodle-golden-wiener-dog in the park, I got this great idea: Let’s domesticate penguins and hippopotamuses. It’ll be fun. You can keep them in your backyard (which, I’m sure, is close enough to their natural habitat that they won’t even notice) and leave out a bowl of the same kibble year after year while you’re at work or at school. They’ll be jumping at the door by the time you get home, and of course, what else could that mean but, “I love you?” It couldn’t mean anything else – not, “thank goodness, I’m going to get my one walk of the day.” Or, “thank goodness, finally some stimulation. I have no friends or family.” Or, “please, please, kill me.” I think it’s safe to assume they love you wholeheartedly.

I’m sure you already know, UC Davisites, that Picnic Day is just around the corner! Time to get your flasks, your bota bags and your Nalgene bottles ready. But before you get too drunk on that hallowed day, I suggest you go to the ARC Pavilion to see the Doxie Derby. The Doxie Derby is pretty much the greatest sporting event of the entire year (even better than the Super Bowl or whatever the final game for basketball is called, I really don’t know). The Doxie Derby pits dachshunds against each other in an all-out, free-for-all race. Hundreds of humans cheer in the stands. The event features big screen instant replays and commemorative t-shirts. I’m pretty sure the Doxie Derby is one of the few sporting events in the world that offers dachshunds the chance to achieve TOTAL DOMINATION (ation-ation-ation).

American culture is a toddler who has just made the transition from training wheels to big kid bike, accelerating like never before, redefining speed. Except we can’t feel the wind running through our hair as we move forward. And unlike the undeveloped nations of the world, nature is not a big player in the way we define our culture. Take the tribal areas of New Guinea for instance, who live directly in accordance with their surrounding terrain. They’ve learned the forest like a roadmap and know exactly how to handle themselves in the various calls of the wild. If the world suddenly reverted to how it was 250 years ago (into the far more natural state before mass production), it would be these societies that would fare best. Likewise, if all industry were suddenly to shut down and wilderness were to grow over our machines, we would have to completely readapt for new sources of dependency and very few of us would be able to survive.

It wasn’t until the tail end of 12th grade that we realized how little our actions mattered. I’d already been accepted to Davis, and nothing outside of my getting arrested for treason was going to dissuade the campus from assimilating me. Cal Poly and Santa Cruz had similar designs on my buddies, leaving us coasting through our last classes – an impressive feat of laziness considering how ably we’d underperformed even beforehand. Once we’d impressed our revelations on our less scholastically-inclined friends, we were home free. To get a mental image, picture the Almighty reaching down and handing us a celestial get-out-of-jail-free card; that’s about what it felt like.

The city of Davis’ Climate Action Team recently completed an inventory regarding the city’s greenhouse gas emissions. In the study, it was revealed that 225,200 equivalent tons of carbon dioxide were emitted in 1990. If conditions remained constant, the city would produce 313,006 tons of emissions by 2015, according to the study. While the numbers themselves are not encouraging, where the emissions are coming from is actually a positive. According to the CAT inventory, transportation accounted for 57 percent of greenhouse gas emissions in Davis in 1990. This number is, in a sense, both promising and discouraging. The fact that over 100,000 tons of emissions were released by transportation alone is certainly an issue, but it’s an issue that we as a community can resolve. Davis’ public transportation system and bicycle-oriented landscape means there’s little need to drive a personal car from place to place. Additional changes to infrastructure could further promote alternative transportation methods and a diminished reliance on personal automobiles.