Humor

Pop group reunites to speak at Letters and Sciences ceremony Famous English-Irish band One Direction will reunite in June to speak at the UC Davis College of Letters and Sciences spring commencement ceremony. The band, which broke up early 2015 after Zayn Malik went solo, will be speaking to Aggies about the importance of perseverance […]

Prank sets scary precedent for future acts of wild spontaneity The Davis community has a scandal on its hands. The Coffee House (CoHo) was recently robbed during a prank a student pulled in an attempt to kickstart a career as a semi-successful YouTube vlogger. The perpetrator described the incident to The California Aggie. “It was […]

#CoolTips for a comfortable weekend on TheLake™ For someone who has never gone on Houseboats™ before, things can get pretty scary. Even though people say the scariest part is the literal possibility of death, they’re all wrong. Any seasoned houseboater knows that the scariest part is feeling like your houseboat isn’t a homeboat. Luckily, The […]

A plethora of attempts to pose a candid photo left one student dead Every little girl’s nightmare became third-year Bethany Roberts’ harsh reality on Wednesday night when everyone’s favorite Instagram-er got all dolled up for the Farmers Market but simply could not take a good photo. This tragedy ultimately ended in a lesser one: death. […]

However, this will not apply to Congress The House of Representatives recently passed a “much-needed” health care bill that would thoroughly scrap Obamacare. This bill introduces new limits on access to insurance, instituting new regulations on what constitutes a preexisting condition. This means that people with those preexisting conditions are priced out of coverage for […]

New Memorial Union lives up to the lowest of possible expectations The new Memorial Union (MU) has surprisingly received a lot of complaints from students. Most of them revolve around the fact that it looks like an airport, mostly because it absolutely does. But what a lot of people seem to be overlooking is the […]

The horrifying truth behind what goes into that extra scoop of guacamole It’s difficult to decipher, especially in this age of fake news, what’s true and what’s false. The only things worse than fake news are the misinformation it spreads and the mass hysteria it can cause. In order to stop this treachery, The California […]

Similarities with Mewtwo, MU II lead to legal battle between unlikely foes After the completion of the Memorial Union’s renovations earlier this month, UC Davis has decided to rename the student center. The MU II, as it is now called, was retrofitted and received a bit of a makeover from the last time it was […]

My opinions have to go somewhere A good friend once told me that “the only people that I know who have a Twitter are Donald Trump, Nihilist Arby’s and you.” Though I’m flattered to be associated with such an elite group of accounts, I have to argue that my Twitter has a little more to […]

Shameful moment for the UC system was merely a moment of sheer laziness Headlines buzzed in early May when it was discovered that the UC system had been hiding $175 million in reserves, creating an uproar among UC students. However, the whole thing has since been discovered to simply be a big “whoopsie” when one […]

Administration continues to offer problem-free experience to students Universities always have the students in mind. No exceptions. Overcrowding? You won’t have to worry about that when you’re dead. Not enough spaces to study? The MU now has lots of tables that are an entire three inches off the ground. Stop complaining! Now, UCD, which stands […]

Please help me This is kind of like if Tron and Buzzfeed had a really ugly baby. Like Donald Trump Jr. ugly. Anyone who has been trapped in a computer before knows that Tron is actually not that far off in terms of depicting the computer world. Also Donald Trump Jr. is here with me. […]