Opinion

“May Otto the Arboretum Otter rest his soul” You know, there is something about a tangle of strangers pressed together for days with nothing in common but the need to go from one building to another, and maybe see each other again when the school year starts. I see evil on this campus. A student […]

Written by: ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

Heifer caught going in-cow-neato What was supposed to be a fun introduction to life at UC Davis for incoming freshman James Daly ended in butt-hurt. Daly, recently admitted for biochemistry, was attending orientation and hoped to get a cliche photo with a Tercero cow after registering for classes. Spoiler alert: he did not. “I’m just […]

Top-ranked animal scientists suspect fowl play For years, many an Aggie had to bear witness to the brutality of the Davis turkeys. These birds haunted Cowtown ever since God said, “Let there be turkeys” on the first day of creation. They blocked streets with their slow, fat bodies. They flocked around automobiles with the ferocity […]

Providing humorous insight on ██████████ This article is intended to be hilarious. Unfortunately, many of the jokes, jests, jeers, japes, quips, gags, parodies, pranks, puns, ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ clever turns of phrase and witty comparisons in this article contain sensitive information pertaining to other absolutely hilarious humor and satire of mine that is currently in development. In […]

And now for, something completely not different that millennials still won’t understand: a Monty Python parody! The following is a scene from the life of Brian. No no, not the movie “Monty Python’s Life of Brian.” No, we’re talking about Brian Cohen. No no no, not Brian Cohen of Judea, the “Messiah” in the movie. […]

Chinese exclusion set the stage for present day immigration policies, mistreatment of migrants at the southern border Martin Luther King Jr. reminded us that, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” and the truth of this statement is evident when we examine America’s history of discrimination against particular ethnic groups. The highly-publicized anti-immigration policies […]

By knowing nothing about classical music, Millennials deny themselves a valuable political attack strategy Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Bartók, Haydn, Mozart, Mahler, Strauss, Chopin, Liszt, Debussy, Ravel, Rachmaninoff, Richard Nixon. Walter, Toscanini, Karajan, Abbado, Bernstein, Barenboim, Solti, Rattle, Dudamel, Dennis Prager. Paganini, Joachim, Kreisler, Heifetz, Milstein, Menuhin, Kogan, Oistrach, Richter, du Pré, Wang, Kern, Vengerov, Hahn, […]

Alfred? Alexander? Alexandra? Dear Editors at The California Aggie, My name is Dr. Barnaby Alastair Exeter-Asherton, PhD, and I’m a professor in the Department of Sociology at UC Davis. I’m writing on behalf of myself and my colleagues in the sociology department to express our grave concerns over the sorry state of public education at […]

No show will ever attain the same cultural, critical acclaim As “Game of Thrones” finally came to an end this season, I realized just how much of a monocultural phenomenon the show was — the likes of which we’ve never seen on television. The show is also a phenomenon we may never see again, thanks […]

Another BS travel blog phenomenon? “#Vanlife” turns up over five million results on Instagram, the majority of which are posed, pleasantly tan, often filtered, classicly athletic young people poking legs out of open van doors. A subgenre of travel blogging, van life posts represent a growing trend of people living out of their vehicles by […]

Should students pay more for parking? To the Editor: Re: TAPS to increase parking permit rates starting July 1 (news story, May. 27): Students who live in-town should be charged more for parking passes or not even be able to acquire one at all depending on where they live in relation to campus. Davis understandably […]