Opinion

Humor: Student mistakes my “ethnic food” for foul-smelling feet
HumorNovember 27, 2018
Toe jam or rice and stew? From Japanese cuisine to Indian delicacies, pungent odor seems to be the common issue for Americans — dare I say white people — when they walk past a meal that smells like pure struggle. Though delicious, Americans often judge the foods of immigrants as stinky with a bucket-load of […]

Humor: I am UC Davis’ preeminent keyboard warrior
HumorNovember 27, 2018
My comprehension skills are off the charts I’m the number-one keyboard warrior at UC Davis. I earned this distinction after years of hunting my poor, sniveling victims on social media. It’s impossible to defeat my carefully crafted evidence for why you suck. Don’t be fooled — I’m a fantastic student with tons of hobbies and […]

Humor: After being fired by The Aggie, I apologize for the deeply offensive article I recently wrote
HumorNovember 27, 2018
I’m beyond repentant Five weeks ago, I wrote an extremely offensive article. Due to the intense backlash to the Article, The Aggie promptly fired me. In fact, you could say I was actually fired at the very moment I had the idea to write the Article. The Thought Police were on me like THAT, and […]

Anti-social social media
ColumnNovember 27, 2018
From India to the U.S., social media limits face-to-face interaction and human connection Growing up between the mid-1990s and early 2000s, the thought of a connected world where people could FaceTime and communicate with anyone across the globe through various platforms never crossed my mind. I spent most of my childhood in a rural town […]

Humor: “Communism would be easy to implement” says student who has only ever lived in capitalist society
HumorNovember 27, 2018
Student writes this and other radical statements in personal manifesto-turned-livestream This week, an anonymous manifesto was released and distributed across the UC Davis campus in support of “the complete and unabashed removal of capitalism” and “the total implementation of communism” in American society. Just this morning, the anonymous writer has revealed herself as first-year Diana […]

America’s silent epidemic: How the U.S. fails to address opioid addiction in indigenous communities
ColumnNovember 27, 2018
Local governments must work with Native Americans to set up rehabilitation programs that honor tribal traditions and tackle the opioid crisis Lost in much of today’s rhetoric about America’s opioid epidemic is an important discussion on one demographic group that has been hit the hardest — Native Americans. While a great deal of attention has […]
Humor: Tips and tricks to get through the day as a paid Russian troll
HumorNovember 25, 2018
You’re scrolling through Twitter all day anyway Perhaps your day job at McDonalds has gotten a little tiresome, and you find the act of angering people online fun. Well, have I got a job for you! Putin is paying minimum wage for you to go online and just make people mad or scared. All […]

Democrats shouldn’t focus their efforts on impeachment
ColumnNovember 25, 2018
With impeachment currently doomed to fail, Democrats need to look toward finding ways to compromise with Republicans While the results of the most recent midterm elections proved to be in accordance with election predictions — Democrats won the House and key swing state governorships, and Republicans expanded their Senate majority — the months and years […]

Humor: Black Friday proves that money can buy things to be thankful for
HumorNovember 23, 2018
Saving money by spending money Thanksgiving break can provide a welcome interlude in Fall Quarter, allowing students to take a breath, reflect and give thanks. I’m just kidding. We don’t have Thanksgiving weekend anymore, just Black Friday weekend — the best chance for students to fill that inner void by spending inordinate sums on shit […]

Happy Thanksgiving from the Editorial Board
EditorialNovember 22, 2018
The Editorial Board shares people they’re thankful for Emily Stack, Editor-in-Chief Being the elder sibling is a privilege and a responsibility, but it’s easy when your sister is as wonderful as mine is. Besides being a delightful person in her own right –– she’s a talented painter and dancer with a quick mind and […]



