Opinion

Hey! It’s Monday. Let’s talk about tits.

Yep, it’s that time of year, when motivated new souls enter the realm of the gymnasiums far and wide to work on those New Year’s resolutions. Whether your goal is modest (lose the holiday weight) or more gallant (train for a marathon), larger gym crowds are a sure thing. But it’s only the second week of January, a time when people are still excited and motivated about their goals. And the reality is that as the first round of midterms hit, students will put their resolutions aside to focus on the more demanding aspect of their busy lives.

While the societal mentality nowadays is that the glass ceiling is gone, a recent study proves it is far from shattering.

I am an ex-employee from the Ciocolat cafe. Wow, you sure hit the nail on the head with Monday’s article! What a terrible place to work. But one thing the employee failed to tell you about was the constant gas leak there.

It’s Thursday, and I’m afraid this column is too late. But if you have yet to corral your textbooks in the soul-crushing, pocket-emptying labyrinth known as the UCD Bookstore, read on. After spending my life savings freshman year on textbooks, I put my foot down. For the last two years (and with the exception of one accidentally opened, shrink-wrapped disaster), I have bought neither textbooks nor readers. And no, I haven’t failed any of my courses. Through much trial and error, I’ve found other means of procuring course texts:

The politically minded are accustomed to the barrage of e-mails that come in daily from folks passing along their own daily barrage. Not all of these emails are useless – my father-in-law sends along some interesting analyses of the economy, and no one can begrudge a good joke to lighten the mood.

Forty-four percent of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, breaking down their lofty long-term aspiration for self-improvement into smaller, more tangible goals. But what’s really beneath the desire for self-betterment?

The bag. We all carry one, be it a backpack, side bag, purse or a rolling suitcase nerdmobile for your books. We all have notebooks, textbooks and laptops, and we all need to somehow efficiently lug all this shit from class to class. The question is, what to lug it in?

Although I find myself surrounded by “hella fresh Baydestrians,” I hail from the land of, like, surfers and, like, dudes and, like, totally living in traffic on freeways like the 5 and the 405 and PCH. Yes, I am from the water-stealing, star-studded Southern California. Forgive me.

It’s that time of year. The time when you hit the gym, burn those calories, shed that weight and drop all those bad habits that have been haunting you.

You know that panicky feeling you get in your stomach when someone is giving you the side-eye? Maybe the following scenario will jog your memory.

2011 has already brought with it some changes, perhaps the least important of which is my controversial move to page 3. Aside from that, economists seem to think we’ve \