Opinion

Through the last nine columns, I’ve written at length about your health – what you need to do, what you can try, what you shouldn’t do, how you can do this and avoid that, why you should be healthy at all. While I tried to err on the side of simplicity, some of the advice could get complicated, the details too difficult to recall weeks later. So you might have forgotten every tip I labored onto paper. I’m here to tell you this week that it’s okay. Lucky for the both of us, all the advice I could ever hope to impart, and the only advice you ever really needed, was discovered by a long-ago marginalized Greek philosopher.

The emergence and seeming dominance of cyberspace may have improved variety and access in the media. One can be tempted to use the overused adage “the more the merrier,” yeah? Well, my industry (newspapers) is anything but the merrier for it. Real hard news is taking a bludgeoning, continually. I daresay that as publishers’ worries about gloomy bottom lines and cost-cutting trump obligatory quality, we risk surrendering the traditional role of the fourth estate. It’s really sad.

There’s an old adage of government spending, often attributed to the late Sen. Everett Dirkson: “A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking real money.”

On Jan. 4, ASUCD will open a new unit designed to help feed cash-strapped students.

We all know that fee hikes in the UC system are out of control. Last year’s 15 percent, plus another 15 percent on top of that, after multiplying, comes to a total percent increase of 32.25 percent. When the upcoming 8 percent increase takes effect, that will make a net increase of 42.83 percent since 2009, or nearly 43 percent.

Thanksgiving puts one in a pensive mood, and I’m sitting here contemplating what lies ahead in the world of weed.

As the winter season fast approaches in Davis, I set out in my imaginary car to find cafés and coffee shops that will take in a cold, miserable student such as myself. Of course, you already know of two popular coffee shops around town that many students go to – Starbucks, located in all four corners of Davis, and Peet’s Coffee & Tea, located downtown and in The Marketplace.

I regret to say that, for the first time in my brief college career, I’ve hit academic turbulence this quarter (I’m a junior). Like Hindenburg that came before me, my combustive nosedive is an indisputable tragedy and a source of great personal depression. My image as an immaculate human being — that is, me being flawless in all regards — will be forever tarnished hereafter.

I really hate generalizations. And especially those about us gays. Like anyone else, we don’t all share the same interests and we all have different, unique plans for the future. Gay men, I like to say, are like condoms: We come in different colors, shapes and flavors, and some even come from a different country. We’re both also very effective methods in preventing surprise visits from the stork. Just sayin’.

Excuse me if I ruin your morning, but let me remind you that finals week is fast approaching. This can only mean one thing: caffeine, and lots of it. As you pull each subsequent all-nighter for the paper, exam or project, sleep becomes a necessary sacrifice.

Those who’ve had or will have the, yes, ordeal of flying home, will bear testimony that the Transport Security Administration (TSA) has slaughtered privacy rights on the alter of safety screenings.

Last Tuesday, Four Loko, in response to pressure from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), officially decided to remove the caffeine from their caffeinated alcoholic drink on the premise that the combination is unsafe. While caffeine does hide some effects of drunkenness, the FDA’s ban oversteps its boundaries, due more to political allegiances than public safety.