Opinion

Dr. Gary Chapman has counted the ways. Apparently, there are five of them. (He has not, to my knowledge, expressed them in iambic pentameter, but no one’s perfect.)

Most people anticipate major holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and even Earth Day. There’s that long process of crossing each box off the calendar leading up to those large gatherings. There’s also the anticipation of who’s going to attend and where the attendance will be.

By now you’ve most certainly heard of SB 1070. This legislation, signed into law by Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer last week, requires those suspected of being undocumented immigrants to provide proof of citizenship whenever state authorities require. Critics have compared the bill to apartheid and Arizona to a police state – and I don’t think either of these comparisons is at all hyperbolic.

Last week’s ASUCD senate meeting saw an urgent piece of legislation that will allocate $1,500 from senate reserves to the La Raza Cultural Days account. The allocation of this money, though vital to the week-long celebration of Chicana/o culture, was introduced and approved by the senate with minimal student input outside of ASUCD.

What is the meaning of crime? Is it criminals robbin’ innocent mothafuckas everytime? That’s what the GZA says, at least. The Wu love their acronyms.

Having successfully embezzled a baller sum of money from a Fortune 500 Company, acquired invaluable intelligence via blackmail and furthered plans to fix an upcoming gubernatorial election before noon, I was heading back to my renovated Scottish castle for some serious chillaxin’ when I remembered that I don’t actually live in one of my crazysauce adolescent fantasies.

I never drank strawberry wine when I was 17. I have also never dug my keys into the side of someone’s souped-up, four-wheel drive. I don’t believe I will ever find someone’s tractor sexy. This being said, you can probably guess that I am a huge country music fan. That was a lie. I guess I can relate to those country songs about liars.

An April 21 Sacramento Bee article titled “Weekend rowdiness may bring an end to UC Davis’ 96 year-old Picnic Day” sparked worry among many students and alumni that Picnic Day may end.

The foundation and principles required for a functioning democracy have been discussed by a philosophers and thinkers since the times of ancient Athens. They often espoused the values of justice, tolerance and freedom that are so cherished today in our own society.

Within the next 900 or so words, I will systematically break down everything I do within a given day. It will not be pretty. At times, it will sound mundane. And in the end, it will be indicative of the life students lead in Davis, Calif.

My fascination with mass fraud and Goldman Sachs dates back to my entrepreneurial fascination with Beanie Babies in the fourth grade.

Ask any person for relationship advice and they’ll all tell you the same thing: You need things like communication, loyalty and honesty to maintain a lasting relationship.