Opinion

I don’t like being sentimental, really. It’s in poor taste most of the time. I like to take the British stiff upper lip approach when it comes to socially-demanding displays of crocodile tears. So my last two columns will not be emotional, and I’m certainly not going to thank anyone. The trite phrase, “I couldn’t have done it without you” is absolute bullocks and I will not partake in such nonsense.

A seemingly kind but shabby looking man offers you Seattle’s Best Coffee at Borders. The old man has been sitting across from you on a stool for at least an hour. He disappears for a few minutes and comes back to offer you a cup of coffee. What do you do?

Two nights before I drove back up to Davis at the end of my one-week spring break, my parents sat me down in their last-ditch effort to convince me to study abroad and learn Chinese in Hong Kong instead of going to Turkey.

Given that California uses initiatives that allow citizens to directly vote on constitutional amendments, we have a greater responsibility to be informed about issues that may on the surface seem inconsequential.

They say all good things must come to an end – and when you think about it, they weren’t kidding. There’s an end to every song we love. The best ice cream sundae is history after that last amazing spoonful. And in sex (which, in my opinion, is a very good thing), you come to an end. Literally.

I think I did college wrong. My longboarding skills are amateur at best, face-removing at worst. The five-year-old I babysit just got better at guitar than me. And I don’t have a favorite band that no one’s heard of – though I can fake it in a pinch. “Well, I’m really into, uh, Nomadic Rice Farmer right now. Their new stuff is okay, but their first album is sick. What’s it called? Oh, uh, Paddy Wagon. Yeah. So legit.”

Last weekend’s ASUCD budget hearings allowed members of the student government to discuss and close the budgets of over 25 units and commissions.

In the wake of budget shortfalls on campus, UC Davis recently received the good news that the English as a Second Language program will not be outsourced to community colleges or a University Extension.

On Wednesday afternoon, we witnessed the rally that was held at the Vanderhoef Quad and Conference Center. And why not? With the recent, sudden and unannounced cutting of four lesser sports, the committee in charge failed miserably in every way – including the use of faulty guidelines, and an even more faulty interpretation of these guidelines.

Watering holes fascinate me. They’d probably fascinate you too, if you ever found yourself out of your gourd at some odd hour of the morning listening to David Attenborough break down the balances of life on Earth. Funny that these delicate inter-species relationships often involve some reptilian colossus crushing and drowning the weakest animal it can find. That’s what it looks like to me, anyway. But I’m an English major, so what do I know.

I was maliciously tackled with a by-the-day graduation countdown recently. As you can imagine, this severely annihilated my ability to pretend this isn’t my antepenultimate. But it ain’t mourning time yet, so sit the hell down.

It is beyond me why many conservative thinkers still give Arizona’s SB 1070 a free pass. The Republican Party is so terrified of the specter of brown immigrants, and so deluded as to the superiority of state power over federal, that its members are willing to support the legalization of racist and totalitarian measures.