Opinion

There’s this kid I thought was the last honest cowboy in the ol’ Davis ranch. He’s my little buddy. I consider myself his drunken fairy godmother. I do my best to ensure that he never brings home girls who look like a hybrid of Amy Winehouse and Jabba the Hutt, like his beer-goggled buddies apparently do every weekend. Quality over quantity, people! There’s not much use in getting on someone’s nuts if it’s destined to end with a speeding ticket on your rushed quest for a disinfecting shower at the hospital. In the interest of protecting the innocent, we’ll affectionately dub this fella Bambi.

Some people have one (or two or three) of these. And some people don’t. But if you do, you know how difficult it is to get rid of. No, I’m not talking about a disease – that’s for another day.

I had a rude awakening a few weekends ago. Literally. I was rudely awakened from my slumber. It was around 4 a.m. on a Sunday morning when I was woken by a violently thrashing, screaming body a foot away from me in bed.

“Baboons pretending to be scientists.”

After reading a guest editorial that appeared in The Aggie last week entitled, “Tea Party movement cannot be ignored,” I felt compelled to write a response.

The California Aggie has formally retracted Tiffany Lew’s Jan. 22 column, “The Rise of the Girly Men.” The column made multiple insensitive comments, offending a significant portion of the UC Davis community.

For the first time in California history, a legislative committee voted this month in favor of legalizing marijuana.

As a leader of the student organization Asian & Pacific-Islander Queers (APIQ) at UC Davis, I would like to message you to express how offended we are by your article in the opinion section.

I’ll admit it: I called the Hope for Haiti Now telethon like 30 times trying to get through to Kevin Jonas. Let’s just say it didn’t work out exactly as planned. What’s more, I texted “HAITI” to “90999” because I was curious how they can charge $10 for a simple text-bomb. I now have $2.96 left in my bank account.

It’s a typical Thursday night and Donald Cameron Gensemer is doing what many 21-year-old college students are doing. He’s taking shots of rum to loosen up before he goes to the bars to loosen up some more.

I sympathize with you, my precious (and probably soaked) readers. This weather is simply not the best to come to school in. But maybe I can alleviate your rainy-day blues with this column.

Something momentous happened in Davis on Saturday.