Opinion

I’m gonna be Frank (not David). This article sucks because I’ve done no writing over break. The problem is I can never motivate myself to be productive over break. Unless, of course, your definition of “productive” is getting every single star coin in New Super Mario Bros. Wii – in which case, I would have to say I was very fucking productive.

Happy New Year, everybody. Welcome back from our two-and-a-half week so-called break.

I have a confession to make.

No matter how eventful, amazing, fun or gluttonous your winter breaks may have been, I know how much you all were looking forward to today. Yes, today is the day all you precious readers couldn’t wait to get on campus, grab The Aggie and open it up to page two, where my column and cute little mug shot await you.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring – except for the entire Sekishiro family, because Beth has poor time management skills.

It seems like every time I sit down to write this column, I’m planning on writing one thing only to change my mind.

Monday’s dialogue with the chancellor revealed a lot about those who participated.

By June of next year, faculty and students who are new mothers will have to go somewhere else to use a breast pump.

Mike Dorsey’s article on the impending closure of the Davis Student Cooperative, one of three co-op houses on campus, presented the Aggie readership with as fair a picture of the situation as I can imagine. As a longtime resident of Davis, and one who has both close and intimate familiarity with the history of co-operatives in the town, I was pleased to see that Dorsey’s article stayed away from pushing an agenda for either side of the issue.

I know last Thursday must have been miserable for you. A day spent weeping over pumpkin pies and drowning sorrows in gravy and stuffing. Well, my friends, wipe those tears away. Lo and behold, today I have a brand new story for your reading pleasure.

A strong contender for this week’s column was the ultimate fictional holiday showdown between Seinfeld’s Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us, and the O.C.’s Chrismukkah, the pairing of Jesus and Moses, the superteam. Both are solid holidays, both created by television geniuses of equal measure, Frank Costanza and Seth Cohen.

It’s Friday night, and though Dave and I are the only full Asians in the room, we are the only ones with our shoes still on. The wall facing the street is made almost entirely of glass, and though anyone passing by in the street can see us clearly beneath the Christmas lights hanging over us, we can barely see each other – me and my Guiness, him and his PBR.