Opinion

With pen and paper in hand, three students went to a bookstore on the Harvard University campus in the fall of 2007. They were there not to buy books, but to take down the ISBNs of textbooks being sold in the store. When they were asked to leave, they refused, and police were called to diffuse the situation. The students were collecting ISBNs to put on a website they had created to make it easier for other students to find the cheapest textbooks online. The incident highlighted the struggle students face in trying to combat the high cost of textbooks, a problem that has been acknowledged by virtually everyone in the higher education world.

This morning I was watching aPussycatDolls music video and– no,don‘t leave! Wait! I promise,this is not the intellectual capacity of this column! So I was watching this video with what appears to consist of five strippers telling me to“loosen up their buttons,“ and I was thinking to myself,are you coming on to me?

Did anyone else catch that sermon President Obama gave the other day? It was cleverly disguised as a commencement speech for the graduating class of Notre Dame.On May17,amidst complaints and protests from Notre Dame alumni and other Catholics,Barack Obama received an honorary degree and gave such a moving,passionate speech that I honestly felt like I was sitting in church just by watching it on YouTube.

Many of us are conditioned from the get-gothat going to collegeis the key to success.If you work hardandgetyour undergraduatedegree,thenyouare on the fast track to livin‘ the good life.This is America,damn it,and we can be whatever we want to be. Well,this is indeed America,but whatthose in the graduating class of2009likely failed to account for intheir collectivedreams was graduating amidst the hail of the worst economicstorm since the Great Depression.

Well my minions,with just two more columns to go,I feel like I have so much left to say.Alas,after writing many advice columns,I’ve decided that this one will be my last, “How to…” article. I’ve realized that over the years,my columns usually revolve around some aspect of a shitty relationship (I suppose because it’s so easy to obtain one).But with one last piece of advice to give,I want to leave on an optimistic note about the one thing I know a little bit about (but not by choice of course) – and that is how to be so awesomely single.

As college students,we’re often forced to endure difficult situations that we would rather simply avoid,postponeor ignore. We can all imagine how much easier our lives would be if turning our back on an especially rough midterm and running for the hills without consequence were considered a viable option.Unfortunately,our society has taught us the importance of personal accountability,and we know that such reckless inaction and negligence would be catastrophic when it came to impacting our public image.

Much like the secret menu at In-N-Out,sometimes you have to be “in-the-know” to get the full benefits of things.Granted,you’re not exactly cognizant of what you’re missing,but those with the information understand how much better life is with animal and protein styles.The same goes for the secret menu at Jamba Juice (though I’m partial to the old classics),and even more for the things on campus that you have to be aware of to enjoy.

So last week I promised to give you some reporter tips,and here they are! Whenlast we leftour hero (you),you had developed a story idea that an editor of a publication you’re aware of would want to print in their fine publication.What’s next?

The American Way has never been the only way– it’s just taught like it is.Inherent and obvious flaws in American capitalism have bred in the wealthiest1percent a paranoid fear of an alternative economic system having any kind of success.After attempting to stop the Russian Revolution of1917,this country’s owners decided to do all they could to run Soviet Communism into the ground.

So the United States tortures.I guess what I’m trying to understand is why that’s even news.The United States tortures? Fuck yeah we torture! We’re the world’s lone super-power with the most expansive espionage apparatus the world has ever seen.

Super Senior, So I’ve gota date lined up this weekend,and she wants to watch a movie.The catch is that she’s making me pick one,but we haven’t been dating longand I’ve got no idea what to go with.Any suggestions? – Ghost of Siskel

There are tons of relationship tips lurking around in places like magazines, books, the Internetand just about everyone you know. With this overabundance of tips, it is no surprise that some of them aren’t really true. Below, I have listed four myths regarding what it takes to create a healthy relationship and what they should be instead.