Opinion

A recent invention is threatening to become even more personal than Google.As The Independent reported,Wolfram Alpha promises access to a world designed uniquely to oneself:It“will understand questions and give specific,tailored answers in a way that the web has never managed before.“ Alpha,in other words,delivers what humans always sought:immediate,accurate answers.This erais an era of looping,endless mass production and mass consumption.Products proliferate and advertisements abound.For many,this can be jarring as it can be disorienting– too much is also too little.

It‘s always good to get an outsider‘s opinion,becausethey can tell you things you may not realize.Like when Oreo cookies make your teeth look disgustingly brown or when you‘re just plain acting like an idiot.We Americans are pretty set in our ways; in general,we like action films,barbecuingand watchingcelebrities get DUIs.Other people may see us as more of the obese,stupidly conservative,pornophobic Evangelist bible-hugger type.I guess we kind of deserve it– we are the country responsible for the production ofEurotrip.But hey,it‘s all about perspective.

Public attention for the past week has been centered on the H1N1swine flu virus and its potential pandemic effects.Despite what the ubiquitous news coverage and conversations would lead you to believe,many experts says the virus is currently no more dangerousthanthe regular flu virus. While H1N1may be unnerving because it emerged after flu season,scientists at a forum at UC Berkeley on Monday stressed that it is no more infectious thanthe regular flu and urged calm.

Dear Editor, Your article titled “Time for a Newspeak checkup!” published on Apr.10 is profoundly misinformed. The article asserts that “In the first months of the Obama administration, a disquieting trend has emerged: wrapping up ugly political truths in shiny new language to bury or beautify the negative connotations and public opinion they carry.”

So I guess we’re in some sort of digital revolution.Whatever.I like the Internet a lot,iPods are funand so are microwaves and Bagel Bites.Way to go on those things,technology.But there are some ways in which technology makes me want to go Thoreau my cell phone into Walden Pond.One of those ways is Amazon’s Kindle2.0. More like,I want to turn it into kindling for a fire and watch it burn! Forever.

A bunch of people out there owe me money,favorsand commitments to serious dares.Because swine have finally flu. Some right wing talk radio hosts have also“flu,“ over the cuckoo‘s nest. I could do this all day.

If you’re a senior right now,you’re probably feeling pretty good.Aside from the senioritisthat has left you with little to no motivation to do anything school-related,you’re sitting pretty.You’re(probably) graduating in June,which,in case you haven’t realized it yet,is next month.There are only20school days left,and that’s IF you have Friday classes.Pending the completion of this quarter’s classes and barring some catastrophic clerical error,you are done with undergrad forever! Unless you’re my boyfriend or anotheroneof the unlucky fewwho have summer school classes.

UC Davis Police Officer Ralph Nuno began patrolling the campus from the back of his bicycle last week,putting a proverbial stick through the spokes of any would-be criminal’s plans of running a stop sign or worse.

People often complain that no one in college dates and after donning my thinking cap and pondering the question,I have concluded it is simply because nobody knows how.But fear not,my romantically challenged compadres,because I am here to enlighten you. What is a “date“? Think about what the ultimate goal of a “date” is.And no,it’s not just to get laid.If that’s all you’re interested in,then this advice isn’t for you.

Now that May marks my last full month of writing forTheAggie,expect this column and perhaps one or two more to be filed under the “Sentimental Thoughts of an Impending Graduate/Retiring Columnist” folder.Although I know this might seem early because I have a couple of weeks to spare before the end is near,I figured I’d spread the nostalgia around and not subject you minions to three consecutive weeks of my sudden wistfulness for my undergraduate years.

There’s something about the month of May that brings out the crazies.Take a second and look around,listen to what the people around you are talking about,and really think about it.It wouldn’t surprise me if after a while you started to think that all the pretty colors and pleasant aromas wafting off the freshly bloomed “May flowers” have forced them to repress the few rational thoughts their mind is capable of producing,and throw intelligence to the wind.

About400people expecting to go to an E-40concert at Theta Xi were disappointed late last month when the concert was abruptly cancelled without explanation.Ticketholders had to learn by word of mouth that not only was the concert cancelled,but also they would not be able to obtain refunds for the tickets,which cost at least$20each.