Opinion

The New York Times is not doing so hot.If you read this column every week (fun fact:we’re into April and I still have people I know from the dorms run into me and say “Hey! I saw your picture in the paper today!” Humbling.),this isn’t really news to you.What is news,however,is that the problems in New York are now carrying over into other cities.

We have a problem. Our problem is that Timothy Geithner is about to use our money to buy between $500 billion and $1 trillion“worth“ (more on that later) of toxic legacy assets. Our problem, put another way, is that we’re about to buy the financial equivalent of a whole lot of Kid Rock albums.

Tumbling headfirst down the 365 stone steps of a Mayan temple, painted completely with a sacred recipe of blue paint, wearing an exit wound in his indigo chest from whence his heart was cut out and burned, a Mayan champion might think, ‘Maybe there’s something to that 2012 theory.‘

Super Senior, OK, so you were able to have a fifth year of college because you’re a student athlete and your parents footed the bill. What about the rest of us? It seems like you’re advocating taking five years, but that’s just not financially possible for some people. Understandably Bitter

We are all constantly throwing one giant marketing campaign for the most important product ever– ourselves. Just like most companies,we are trying to build a “cool” brand amongst competitors with a very similar product.And just like these companies,we pull all these clever marketing techniques when the spotlight is on us.

Newspapers as we know them are dying.Print media outlets are decreasing production,declaring bankruptcy and retrenching – the New York Times is the latest among many to announce layoffs.Last month,TIME even published a case for rescuing newspapers,so severe has the crisis become.

Once upon a time,everyone in the free world gave me a hard time for liking Avril Lavigne.Okay,look… I.Was.In.Eighth.Grade.And “Complicated” sounds kinda cute when played on the ukulele.

The Entertainment Council will be screeningPirates II:Stagnetti’s Revenge,an adult pornographic film,in the Chemistry194Lecture Hall tonight at7p.m.The XXX version of the production will be shown,

The recession sucks.Being in college,most of us will probably feel the wrath of the recession if we haven‘t already.Some of our families are being hit by this really hard,and I wish you all the best of luck during these times.While AIG punks are getting their million dollar bonuses,some of us are losing homes and giving up on dreams because of financial difficulties.

You have to admit,spring quarter in Davis kicks every other quarter’s butt.It can bring out a joie de vivre in even the most sullen of people.The sun is shining,the flowers are in bloomand everyone seems to be smiling.No one knows quite what it is that kick-starts this change thatseems to take place almost overnight,but something makes the world shine a little brighter when we get back from spring break.

On Dec.21,2012,the Ancient Mayans‘ Long Count calendar will end during the winter solstice,marking what many claim will be either the end of the world or the beginning of a new age of human prosperity.

There are some things in life you should never find yourself saying and if you do,you know that at some time or another,your life has gone off its rocker.