Opinion

At some point in our lives we‘ve all heard that line that adults (the real ones,with jobs and houses and stuff) use to describe a student:“He‘s smart,he just doesn‘t apply himself.“ This brings to mind that stoner kid who owned the SATs because stoners are either really smart or really dumb.Or maybe those words describe you,because it‘s the perfect excuse for your GPA and no one ever wants to admit that they‘re stupid.

The University of California Board of Regents was recently criticized for its new admissions plan passed in February,which interest groups claim unfairly affects Asian & Pacific Islander applicants. The plan,which eliminates the SAT II as a requirement to be considered,is intended to decrease the number of applications denied consideration for reasons that could be due to poor advising.

Right now there is a proposed law in Afghan parliament that states,according to Shia law,thatwomen would not be allowed to refuse sex with their husbands.God damn it.It‘s one step forward,two steps back. Afghanistan has been through a diverse and tumultuous history.However,it was not always so conservative.I refuse to allow Afghanistan to succumb to the propaganda claiming it is abackwardnation without some clarifications.

I was watching old episodes of“The Office“ the other day because that’s what I do when I have tons of work and no motivation to do it.For those of you who aren’t familiar with this particular show,you’re missing out.To give you a short summary,this mockumentary follows a group of people and their mundane lives working in a paper supply office.Think“Seinfeld“ in an office,but funny.

Last month the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued a warrant to arrest Sudanese President Omar al-Beshir for war crimes and crimes against humanity.Although during his presidency at least300,000people have died in the Darfur region in western Sudan,the ICC claimed there was “insufficient evidence“ to prosecute him for genocide.

In high school,my friends and I had this saying– there are only three types of guys:the taken ones,the ones with the problems and the gay ones.All of which,of course,are unavailable to us gals.

All right folks,Holy Week is upon us,and I think it’s about time we paid the topic of religion another quick visit. Over the coming days,Christians from across the globe will be engaged in a weeklong process of prayer,fastingand countless hours of self-reflection during what is considered to be the most important week of the liturgical year.

A recent survey by Rasmussen Reports,a public opinion polling company,found that30percent of American young adults aged18to29believe satirical news programs such as “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” are taking the place of traditional news outlets. Although it is unlikely that such programs alone will run mainstream media outlets out of business,their popularity is worth considering.

I have never been the physically adventurous type; I don’t ski,skateboard,skydive or whitewater raft.I did play youth soccer,though I tended to be the player furthest from the ball at all times.I was late learning to ride a bike,and although I did have some success on my high school tennis team,tennisisn’t exactly a contact sport.As a result,I had very few childhood trips to the emergency room,but I also have few athletically-oriented memories.

The New York Times is not doing so hot.If you read this column every week (fun fact:we’re into April and I still have people I know from the dorms run into me and say “Hey! I saw your picture in the paper today!” Humbling.),this isn’t really news to you.What is news,however,is that the problems in New York are now carrying over into other cities.

We have a problem. Our problem is that Timothy Geithner is about to use our money to buy between $500 billion and $1 trillion“worth“ (more on that later) of toxic legacy assets. Our problem, put another way, is that we’re about to buy the financial equivalent of a whole lot of Kid Rock albums.

Tumbling headfirst down the 365 stone steps of a Mayan temple, painted completely with a sacred recipe of blue paint, wearing an exit wound in his indigo chest from whence his heart was cut out and burned, a Mayan champion might think, ‘Maybe there’s something to that 2012 theory.‘