Opinion

Last month the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued a warrant to arrest Sudanese President Omar al-Beshir for war crimes and crimes against humanity.Although during his presidency at least300,000people have died in the Darfur region in western Sudan,the ICC claimed there was “insufficient evidence“ to prosecute him for genocide.

In high school,my friends and I had this saying– there are only three types of guys:the taken ones,the ones with the problems and the gay ones.All of which,of course,are unavailable to us gals.

All right folks,Holy Week is upon us,and I think it’s about time we paid the topic of religion another quick visit. Over the coming days,Christians from across the globe will be engaged in a weeklong process of prayer,fastingand countless hours of self-reflection during what is considered to be the most important week of the liturgical year.

A recent survey by Rasmussen Reports,a public opinion polling company,found that30percent of American young adults aged18to29believe satirical news programs such as “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” are taking the place of traditional news outlets. Although it is unlikely that such programs alone will run mainstream media outlets out of business,their popularity is worth considering.

I have never been the physically adventurous type; I don’t ski,skateboard,skydive or whitewater raft.I did play youth soccer,though I tended to be the player furthest from the ball at all times.I was late learning to ride a bike,and although I did have some success on my high school tennis team,tennisisn’t exactly a contact sport.As a result,I had very few childhood trips to the emergency room,but I also have few athletically-oriented memories.

The New York Times is not doing so hot.If you read this column every week (fun fact:we’re into April and I still have people I know from the dorms run into me and say “Hey! I saw your picture in the paper today!” Humbling.),this isn’t really news to you.What is news,however,is that the problems in New York are now carrying over into other cities.

We have a problem. Our problem is that Timothy Geithner is about to use our money to buy between $500 billion and $1 trillion“worth“ (more on that later) of toxic legacy assets. Our problem, put another way, is that we’re about to buy the financial equivalent of a whole lot of Kid Rock albums.

Tumbling headfirst down the 365 stone steps of a Mayan temple, painted completely with a sacred recipe of blue paint, wearing an exit wound in his indigo chest from whence his heart was cut out and burned, a Mayan champion might think, ‘Maybe there’s something to that 2012 theory.‘

Super Senior, OK, so you were able to have a fifth year of college because you’re a student athlete and your parents footed the bill. What about the rest of us? It seems like you’re advocating taking five years, but that’s just not financially possible for some people. Understandably Bitter

We are all constantly throwing one giant marketing campaign for the most important product ever– ourselves. Just like most companies,we are trying to build a “cool” brand amongst competitors with a very similar product.And just like these companies,we pull all these clever marketing techniques when the spotlight is on us.

Newspapers as we know them are dying.Print media outlets are decreasing production,declaring bankruptcy and retrenching – the New York Times is the latest among many to announce layoffs.Last month,TIME even published a case for rescuing newspapers,so severe has the crisis become.

Once upon a time,everyone in the free world gave me a hard time for liking Avril Lavigne.Okay,look… I.Was.In.Eighth.Grade.And “Complicated” sounds kinda cute when played on the ukulele.