Humor

I have a lot of great fundraising ideas   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    My tuition goes up every year, and yet this school is still supposedly short on money. Remember when Sunset Fest got canceled due to lack of funds? It’s time to act, Aggies. If we’re going to get our money up, […]

One of us is a lethal weapon of mass destruction and the other is Godzilla   By AUDREY ZHANG — aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   I know what you’re thinking. How can a stunning, six-foot-five, cancer-curing college bombshell ever compete with the one cool thing that came out of nuclear armageddon? She doesn’t have a chance. And you’d […]

They are better than us, I fear   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    The P and Q are fourth-year undergraduate buses, each with a double major, a part-time job and no signs of burnout. If they make you feel unworthy of your spot here at UC Davis, join the club. Even other bus lines […]

In other words: bus beef   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   If you have ever ridden on a Unitrans bus line, you have probably noticed the friendly disposition of the drivers. I have seen the drivers chatting with each other before their buses depart and overall having an admiral little community. Once on the […]

Caution: the standards are low   By MIAH JORDANE — mjcampos@ucdavis.edu   There are a plethora of period-drama pieces within cinema, theater and literature: “Pride and Prejudice,” “Bridgerton,” “Hamilton,” “Little Women” –– the list goes on. Despite the problematic aspects of the eras these pieces take place in, there’s a fixation with romanticizing and fantasizing […]

This tipping thing is getting out of hand   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    The other night, I decided to study late at the Teaching and Learning Complex (TLC) for my upcoming midterms. As I was studying, the material became so unbelievably boring that I nodded off and later woke up in a pile […]

Sorry, I don’t make the rules —- or the drinks   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Animal Biology: Iced milk. Geology: Coffee on the rocks (translation for non-geology majors: iced coffee). Managerial Economics: Small hot latte (only ordered for a networking event). Mechanical Engineering: Vanilla frappe (doesn’t like coffee) but washes it down with […]

Is this salt or sugar?   By AUDREY ZHANG – aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   I know it. You know it. We’re broke college students and, even worse, mediocre cooks. Don’t sweat it. Here are several easy recipes that even the most hopeless beginner could make. You won’t be impressing Gordon Ramsay anytime soon, but at least you […]

This season’s queens will be earning their Ph.D.s in Public Servevice at the Motherversity of Yassssifornia, Slayvis   By GEETIKA MAHAJAN — giamahajan@ucdavis.edu   After successful runs in Canada, Mexico and the UK, the RuPaul’s Drag Race (RPDR) franchise has decided on its newest expansion venture: “Drag Race” is coming to Davis.  If you’re reading […]

I know what you are — say it!   By AUDREY ZHANG – aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   For those afraid of the creatures that stalk the night, I have composed a surefire list to figure out whether you are actually talking to Edward Cullen –– except, unlike Bella, you don’t smell good and are probably just dinner. […]

Does a fire alarm mean the food is ready?   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Slightly brown romaine lettuce. Crusty teriyaki sauce. Honey glazed deli ham. Milk. Everclear vodka.  Even the most experienced chefs that graced the televised kitchen of “Chopped” couldn’t think of a way these miscellaneous ingredients could have blended together to […]

AAAAAAAAAH   By AUDREY ZHANG – aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   We’ve all been there. You’re spending your time trying to enjoy college and get those Best Years of Your Life™ and then you remember that you’re drowning in debt for a reason — to get a degree. The deadline is tonight and you’ve got a blank page […]