Humor

I can feel my mom’s disappointment fade away with every bite!   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   You may have experienced a pounding headache, a dry throat and the feeling that your stomach has turned inside out while picking up breakfast from Ali Baba. Maybe you have even thrown up in the bathroom and […]

My emotional support rat must have his own room   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Hello, my name is Juke Jakeson. I am in dire need of a roommate next year for off-campus housing, and you must be in need of one too! It’s like I’m reading your mind! Ahaha.  A little about me:  […]

Looney Tunes failed me   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   As a kid, I was always wary of wet sand because I was convinced it would be quicksand. I thought that stepping in it would cause me to start slowly descending into a suffocating death. The worst part about a quicksand death, I thought, […]

Picking the team with the prettiest colors ain’t gonna cut it   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   We may have thought we were free from the clutches of football the day after the Rihanna concert, but I have bad news for the non-sports fans out there. Basketball. Soccer. Hockey. Formula 1. March Madness. Cricket. […]

If you’re my linguistics TA, stop reading   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Some of us have fidget toys to pass the time in class. Others online shop. Others have Google Docs open so they can call themselves an academic weapon and then play 2048 the whole time. However, an unhinged population out there […]

Drawn by: Sandhya Pfile –– sbpfile@ucdavis.edu

Good morning design majors! I hope all your dreams come true <3   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    Like winter quarter, this list goes from okay to terrible to worse.   Atmospheric Science: I love weatherpeople. 10/10 Physics (B.A.): Absolutely blows my mind that you can get a bachelor of arts in physics. Rails […]

Help, I’m being replaced   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    This article was written by ChatGPT, with comments from the author in brackets.   UC Davis is a well-known university located in the picturesque city of Davis, California. Known for its strong agricultural and veterinary programs, the university is a haven for those who […]

Good luck canceling your gym membership   By ANGIE VELARDE — avelarde@ucdavis.edu   New Year’s resolutions — most of us make them; nobody you know has actually kept one. Here are seven resolutions I know you’ve given up on already:   Going to the gym Let’s be honest: if this was not already part of […]

The difference between a gift and bribery is how good you are at winking   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    Strangers: Ah! Strangers, the perfect blank slate. A canvas on which to draw a romanticized version of your personality. Here are some lies to tell strangers to make you more interesting.  I have a […]

No cups, the pledges just hold the beer in their cupped hands   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu   Kappa Phi Sigma Beta Gamma Phi is UC Davis’s fraternity, but it’s much more than a social club. The frat, conveniently abbreviated as “Cap-fi-sig-bee-gam-fi” to those in the know, has prepared members for impressive roles outside […]

Meet Jeff, Twitter’s newest (and only) employee   By ANGIE VELARDE — avelarde@ucdavis.edu   After a series of unprecedented layoffs, resignations and terminations, Elon Musk’s latest purchase is now in the hands of one man: Jeff — a recent college graduate, Dungeon Master, video game enthusiast and now Twitter’s most important employee. According to Jeff, […]