Humor

Going above and beyond normalcy COVID-19 has not been great. However, it does not mean that all have suffered. Many billionaires saw their wealth increase during the pandemic and saw suffering trickle down to the rest of the population. While many restaurants struggled, DoorDash has never been more profitable. As the vaccine rollout continues and […]

How bad could it be? In a maddening choice from the UC Davis administration, the move to the authenticator app Duo has been enacted, and students have been forcibly moved, kicking and screaming, to the new education platform. Regardless of student reception, the university will continue with the move. Even with only about 10% of […]

We take you inside the explosive battle on Capitol Hill Much of the news coverage out of Capitol Hill remains largely focused on the battle over COVID-19 relief checks, the minimum wage and the confirmation of Neera Tanden. All three are equally important battles that will affect the lives of citizens on a day-to-day basis. […]

Other students in my university? It’s more likely than you think With the university planning to have in-person classes in the fall, students have been dreading the fact that they’ll once again be forced into all the horrifying social situations that come with student life.  COVID-19 has changed things, but there are some small blessings […]

The groundhog questions: How did it go so wrong? It’s Feb. 2—Groundhog Day. Punxsutawney Phil, the man, the myth, the legend and most importantly by literal definition none of those three things, is removed from his tree hole by a bunch of old white dudes in top hats. It is announced to the world that […]

I mean, if I’m not getting yeeted off my bike once a quarter, why am I paying to go here? Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, many Davis students have been frustrated with their current education experience. Student complaints range from “Zoom creates a difficult environment to learn and stay motivated” to “I can’t say ‘My dog […]

The only difference between you and a calendar is that the calendar had a date for Valentine’s Day I’ll be honest with you. The past few weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day were emotionally harrowing. Why are there Valentine’s Day sections in literally every business enterprise? Target? Even Trader Joe’s, are you kidding? Call me […]

Technically they’re mutants, but that didn’t sound as cool As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to rage on, many mutations of the virus have developed. Last week, however, researchers that I fabricated in my brain discovered some very strange mutant variants of the coronavirus.  While observing some of the viruses under the microscope, Dr. Stanley Trask […]

Don’t ask us where the milk comes from In a recent investigation, it was discovered that UC Davis’ iconic cows are in fact not livestock and are actually UCD students in costumes attending a class. Apparently, the general education class ASS101 (Animal Sociological Studies) requires pre-vet students to spend an entire quarter in cow suits, […]

“We just want to show students we care” With the pandemic now close to reaching the one year mark, UC Davis is determined to help struggling students. So the entire Mondavi Center has now been turned into a giant ball pit and three cheese pizzas have been ordered for the entire student body. “We wanted […]

It got kind of awkward Tom Brady just punched a ticket to his tenth Super Bowl, but this will be the first without his long-time head coach Bill Belichick. Last season, the rift between the two resulted in Brady taking his talents to Tampa Bay. With last weekend’s victory, it is evident to Brady that […]

And it’s not for the reason you think It was Jan. 4 when I walked into that Bed Bath & Beyond. I wasn’t satisfied with the pillows in the bed section, but as I was about to leave I accidentally stumbled into the beyond section. It was there waiting for me. When I bought it […]