Humor

To be fair, you should’ve known not all cows are Geminis This week, Netflix released a massive apology due to misinformation in their latest nature documentary. Apparently, you can’t trust an unpaid intern to type up a “rough script” for a six-hour show. Netflix subscribers took the news without issue, mostly because no one had […]

“We Are the World” 3? The U.S. has backed a World Trade Organization (WTO) proposal to temporarily suspend intellectual property rights for the COVID-19 vaccination. This has come after weeks of pushback against the proposal by many industries, some more surprising than others. Lee Fang of The Intercept reported that Hollywood has been actively lobbying […]

It’s all about finding a balance between school and world domination “I’m more than just a mad scientist hell-bent on seeing the world conform to my every whim,” said UC Davis student Jeremy Bearimy. “And it’s exhausting that people only see me as that. I mean, I’m a real person! I’m mult-dimensional. It’s not all […]

We’re talking about some scary stuff Ay, can we get Stephen King on the line? I have a feeling this concept could really inspire his next film.  You’re walking through CVS to pick up your prescription. Bam. You see Jake Longstein from high school. Let me give you the summary. He’s living on a houseboat […]

Can we stop breaking the Geneva Convention for 5 minutes? In the days following their country’s most recent act of violence and pure unadulterated evil, UC Davis students struggle to focus on their studies. With political unrest and long-stemming systematic discrimination of minorities a constant, for some reason students just can’t be bothered to remember […]

It’s just a fancy candle holder, what’s the big deal? Guns get a bad rap. After all, it’s people who kill people—with guns. But that last part isn’t important. Because it’s people. Bad people. Terrible people. Maybe even people you know. But definitely not people you know, actually, just other people, who are bad people. […]

Vacation whenever the moment strikes (Texas hard) Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is going to Israel! On May 15, Cruz made comments criticizing President Joe Biden’s decisions about the violence in Israel and promised to visit in the coming days. The senator’s office has not given a concrete schedule to the press due to security reasons.  […]

“You Tried.” Yes, quicktrophy.com, yes I did I’d like to begin by outlining the participation trophies of my past: 2007: Little League Softball. “Everybody is a winner” (Oh please, Coach Rick. I sat in the dugout eating charred hotdogs that might lead to heart issues down the line. Winner is a bold statement). 2010: Swim […]

Don’t tell your parents On this week’s Thursday Thoughts, the following question was submitted: “I miss my overbearing mother being involved in every aspect of my life since coming to college. Is there any way to fix this?” Chancellor Gary May looked to his wife, LeShelle, and smiled. “Yes, there is. Because as of fall […]

Twitter erupted, Reddit crashed and 4chan drafted a 63-page death threat Big news today on Capitol Hill as Republicans face a minor ideological crisis following a viral Tucker Carlson clip. On one of his signature rants in defense of American liberties and the corruption of the left, Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson accidentally slipped into […]

Well, her family values Congresswoman Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., has been removed from her GOP leadership position in the House of Representatives, ostensibly due to her recent positioning against former President Donald Trump. This proves again that Trumpism is fleeting and at the whim of the political wedge named Trump that has made all mainstream political […]

“Julie.paints_4_fun, wants to follow you”… oh shut up, Instagram “Could you give us the backstory,” Professor Levings asked. I shifted in my seat, “Ok, well, Julie and I have been in school together since preschool. The classic friendship. I bullied her until age six (oh c’mon, it builds character), we didn’t speak to each other […]