Humor

No, they don’t have the major class you need. Have you considered “Zombies Civil Rights”? A Spring Quarter slowly draws to a close, you might be thinking that your last day of Zoom lectures is near. Do not despair, however, for there remains another chance to pretend your microphone has stopped working: summer sessions. Lucky […]

Bernie Madoff is dead Bernie Madoff, the prince Ponzi pusher and embodiment of financial corruption is dead at age 82. With his death, the financial industry, America and the entire world can breathe a sigh of relief, because with the death of Madoff comes the death of the corruption in the financial industry. Madoff left […]

Updates from the Newsom recall The effort to recall California Gov. Gavin Newsom has finally prevailed in its quest to trigger a statewide vote. In the weeks since the effort became official, many people have added their name to the growing list of candidates attempting to replace the carbon-hair, gel-based lifeform that we call Gov. […]

Never have the RateMyProfessor comments presented a more united front Middle school was likely the last time an offhand curse word sparked any emotion in students’ hearts. Unfortunately, this fact has not been made known to Dr. Mitchell, a tenured professor in the history department, who recently attempted to win his students over with some […]

Things go south quickly *knock knock* “Hey Kate! We’re here to ask you 73 questions. Should we jump right into it?” “Yeah, let’s do it!” “Oops, would you mind removing the toaster from your doorway so I can come in?”  “Oh, yeah, sorry about that. The cord is too short to reach any outlet other […]

Because what else would it be called? Preheat those ovens, because UC Davis is getting a new on-campus bakery, courtesy of a large donation made by the chancellor. The bakery, which will be called the “Gary Maykerey” will feature all kinds of recipes from the chancellor himself and is scheduled to open in the fall.  […]

I’m losing friends over this I bought a pair of boxing gloves and scheduled an appointment with a therapist just for this article—I’m ready for the backlash.  I like Trader Joe’s. Shopping there is consistently a fun experience. Between their Hawaiian theme and wide range of products, I often mistake the aisles for being a […]

They deserve each other, but the worst among us don’t deserve them Theodore was in one of your classes. He’s undeclared but keeps telling people he’s planning on majoring in comparative international economics, which isn’t even a major at UC Davis. Or, in fact, anywhere else. He’s against all forms of government but when you […]

“Why cure cancer when I can make like, a really big rat?” Cancer research will have to wait as UC Davis genetic students have grown tired of their usual lab work and decided to create their own animals. The whole campus has run amok with their newest creations. Sightings of rats the size of buses, […]

Nobody knows who they’re sticking it to New voting laws passed in Georgia to appease former President Donald J. Trump, and supporters of the “Stop the Steal” campaign have had responses from all over the political spectrum. The Democrats’ opposition has blasted these new laws as racist voter suppression, while Republican backers have praised them […]

I see London, I see France, I can study abroad in my underpants Hey you! Are you dying to study abroad? Dying to meet that special someone overseas while taking English 1? Who could blame you? Here at the UC Davis Hub of Global Learning (unaffiliated with UC Davis Global Learning Hub), we understand that […]

On a mission to discover everything but the syllabus Let’s face it. No one particularly cares for Zoom introductions, especially the one-sided rambling of your apathetic teaching assistant (TA). You could find out more from a thirty-second Google search than from their inane mini-presentation about themselves. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. How do you […]