Humor

A new nickname for your favorite man  Brunch with the girls last Saturday proved to be riveting. As we drank our oat milk lattes, my friend Clara was gushing about her boyfriend Ben and let slip that she likes to call him “daddy” in and out of the bedroom…or should I say playtime? The admission […]

Close your eyes and imagine this: You receive the startling notification that your final has been graded and posted on Canvas.  As expected, you hardly managed to scrape by with 71%, curved. Your A- that was hanging on by a thread has now dropped to a devastating B+. Your GPA is quaking. Life sucks. You […]

UC Davis students feels alone, sad and gross  Last Tuesday, first-year communications major Brian Greene decided to head for a run in the arboretum after consuming 1,188 calories worth of double-chunk chocolate DC cookies. Blasting “The Real Slim Shady” in his airpods, Greene optimistically began his journey. As he rounded the lake, he noticed a […]

Another one bites the dust More often than you’d like, you get that one flat-haired professor who really demands your company in class. You know, the whole “attendance is mandatory and if you miss one class you fail” spiel. Death in the family, a nasty case of the flu —  he’s already heard it all. […]

Prepare to be shocked  Alan Markham, clad in ill-fitting blue jeans and helmet hair, opens up the door for me to his West Village apartment. It is utilitarian, even Spartan, in decoration — a UC Davis campus map sits lonely on a coffee table, several alphabet magnets spell out nothing in particular and the freezer […]

Gunrock, but he’s your DD As some may recall, Tipsy Taxi was deemed #canceled during a Senate meeting earlier this year in a bloody nine-to-one vote. Like Safe Ride, the ASUCD service provided free rides to partygoers and the like during late hours all across Davis. Unfortunately, due to the Senate’s budget deficit, Tipsy Taxi […]

By Mario Rodriguez — marrod@ucdavis.edu

This message was recovered from an unnamed students backpack  Hi – you know who I am. I’m writing to you from the recesses of your JanSport, your North Face, your Fjallraven Kanken or whatever equipment is now trendy to drag me from place to place. It’s been a long few months for me, as you […]

What if I left you a winky face underneath your Discussion post? Haha just kidding… unless? Facebook messenger? Outdated. Instagram DMs? Predictable. Tinder? Yuck! Canvas, fellow romantics and newly singles, is the new hot spot for finding love (as well as your class assignments and posted lecture slides) in the rather lonely and fleeting world […]