Humor

“It’s kinda dark in here” As many universities across the country force students to move out of their on-campus housing, an unlikely hero of the coronavirus pandemic has emerged: U-Haul. According to CNN, the moving and storage company “is offering 30-day free self-storage to students with college IDs.” This amazing deal kills two birds with […]

Irony deficiency threatens youth health At the local headquarters of Big Corporation, hundreds of students gathered yesterday to protest against what we at the News Paper Times described as “corrupt, exploitative and harmful practices” in our series of award-winning exposés about Big Corporation over the last year. Our very own R.E. Porter was at the […]

Clorox: when dirty politics need cleaning 6:00 a.m. Monday morning. The temporary, futile, nugatory joys of the weekend now seem like a long-lost dream, much like the one that was just violently pierced, shattered and hopelessly obliterated by the blaring perturbation of your trusty alarm clock — the only honest, reliable thing in this chaotic […]

It’s what’s happening It’s here: Your first self-reported #news article, 100% free of journalistic bias. When we make promises, We Deliver, just like the US Postal Service. So from now on, the journalists will be cut out of the equation, and their inherent bias toward wanting to actually inform you will be forever stymied, like […]

Written by: Margaret Lee — mcslee@ucdavis.edu

And why you should feel absolutely great about yourself for doing so, even if you help re-elect Trump in the process Here are the reasons: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Written by: Benjamin Porter— bbporter@ucdavis.edu (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and […]

Written by: MARGARET LEE — mcslee@ucdavis.edu

A modern, forward-looking, social media-based approach to news-making In October 2018, we here at The Aggie instituted The Policy — a bold new journalistic ethics practice — aimed at eliminating bias by no longer allowing our reporters to cover topics which they know anything about. Our reporters no longer bring any previous knowledge or expertise […]

This is FIRE You know that thing you care a lot about? That thing you’re willing to start arguments and cancel people over? That thing you write social media posts about everyday? No, no, no — not that thing, the other one. Yes, that one. Well, the verdict is in. It can now be said […]

Written by: MARGARET LEE — mcslee@ucdavis.edu

A political failure or an artistic triumph? If you’re a sane human being, an increasingly rare combination of traits, you likely remain hopeful that we can still achieve a peaceful two-state solution to the Israel-Palestine Conflict — a solution that shows great respect to Palestinians and Israelis alike, while also forcing both sides to make […]